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Islamic Jokes
#1
Islamic Jokes
Let's post offensive jokes targeting allah, muhammed and islam in this thread. I personally find jokes related to islam much more hilarious than those targeted at other religions. I'll go first:
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Mohammed heard one of his wives was leaving him, so he rushed home where he found her on the carpet in front of the tent with her belongings; he sat beside her and said,“I heard you were planning to leave me?”
She replied,“Yes, I heard your other wives saying you were a pedophile!”
Mohammed thinks for a minute or so and then responds,“that's a mighty big word for a 6 year old."
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#2
RE: Islamic Jokes
Quote:Q: In an apartment building in London, Ahmed lives on the first floor, Mustafa on the second floor and Harry on the third floor. The building explodes - who lives?

A: Harry of course - he was at work.



Q: A Pakistani, a Turk, and a Moroccan are riding through Germany - who's driving?

A: The police officer.
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#3
RE: Islamic Jokes
[Image: EH0ngzo.jpg]
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#4
RE: Islamic Jokes
Q: How does every Islamic joke start?

A: By looking over your shoulder.
"Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.” ~ Ambrose Bierce

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's." - Mark Twain in Eruption
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#5
RE: Islamic Jokes
Right now, I'm writing an extremely blasphemous short story murder mystery where Jesus investigates the murder or Mohammed. Will post later, ya might enjoy that.
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#6
RE: Islamic Jokes
How many muslims does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to hold the ladder, one to switch the bulb, and one to interpret the Quran in such a way that it predicted and took credit for light bulbs.

Who would win in a fight with God & Jesus vs Allah and Mohammad?

FSM.

How can tell when a muslim is trying to change the meaning of Quran verses?

His lips are moving.

A muslim moderate comes round a corner to find a Muslim zealot executing random passers by. The moderate says, "You are using a radical interpretation of the quran!"

The zealot replies, "Thanks, yeah pretty cool huh?"

How can you tell the difference between a radical's Quran and a moderate's Quran?

Exactly.
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#7
RE: Islamic Jokes
Quote:Q. What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.

Q. How do Muslims practice safe sex?
A. They mark the camels that kick.

Q. What do Tehran and Hiroshima have in common?
A. Nothing, yet.

Q: How do you tell a Sunni from a Shiite?
A: The Sunnis are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.
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#8
RE: Islamic Jokes
Mohammed comes out of the shower with his junk swinging around. His young daughter points to it and says, "Daddy, when will I get one of those?"

He replies, "Well, I was going to wait until you were 9, but if you insist."



Mohammed said to his mate, "Do you know the best thing about having sex with a 9 year old? Pretending it's a 5 year old!"
Feel free to send me a private message.
Please visit my website here! It's got lots of information about atheism/theism and support for new atheists.

Index of useful threads and discussions
Index of my best videos
Quickstart guide to the forum
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#9
RE: Islamic Jokes
[Image: silly-suicide-bombers_c_4028153.jpg]
[Image: coming-to-a-suicide-bomber-near-you_o_3545437.jpg]
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#10
RE: Islamic Jokes
I've recently started selling prayer mats laced with explosives for Islamists-on-the-go.

Prophets are really going through the roof.
In every country and every age, the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
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