The dumbest fucking arguments you've ever heard.

[Chas]

Thanks to Kirk Cameron, I now have a mission in life. I'm going to go back to uni, take advanced degrees in biological and genetic engineering, obtain a huge government grant, built a state of the art research facility, and create the CrocoDuck.

Then, I'm going to train it to eat Kirk Cameron.

Boru

You will likely need to include vulture genes - they can eat decaying, rotten meat without ill effect.