Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: June 27, 2022, 1:30 pm

Poll: Will you accept Odin into your life?
This poll is closed.
Hell, yes!
62.50%
10 62.50%
Hell, no!
6.25%
1 6.25%
But I'm not a warrior, more of a worrier, really.
0%
0 0%
I accept Him after other "gods" touched me inappropriately.
6.25%
1 6.25%
Fuck, she's gone full retard!
0%
0 0%
Ha! She thinks she's really a valkyrie. We can call her tin tits, now!
25.00%
4 25.00%
Total 16 vote(s) 100%
* You voted for this item. [Show Results]

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Have you Heathens heard the Good News?
#1
Have you Heathens heard the Good News?
We've had Christians of various persuasions and Muslims of multiple types come here and try to persuade us to join their religions.

Well, now it's time you atheist heathens, and others who follow these false religions, to come to know the Truth about the One Real Religion.

It's time for you heathens to accept Odin AllFather into your life and accepts His One True Son, Thor, into your empty lives.

After all, how else will you get into Valhalla without accepting the AllFather?

Don't let the doubting voice in the back of your head hold you back from making this life altering decision.  That's Loki casting doubt in your mind about the AllFather.

Odin loves you, and wants you to join Him in the eternal revels in Valhalla (if you're a suitable warriors, of course).

So, will you accept the AllFather into your life, or will you be one of the many who sit outside the gates and listen to the rest of us revel for all eternity?

Do YOU want to be a Frost Giant??
Dying to live, living to die.
Reply
#2
RE: Have you Heathens heard the Good News?
*raises hand*

Can I be a dark elf instead?
Reply
#3
RE: Have you Heathens heard the Good News?
Sorry, already prepaid for a condo in the Halls of Mandos.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem




Reply
#4
RE: Have you Heathens heard the Good News?
Odin and the Aesir are a bunch of punks who can't take a joke.  It's Loki that yall need to bow down to...since his dog Fenrir will kill both Odin and Tyr while he's finishing off Heimdall come Ragnarok. Lokis afterlife is an endless vinyard with buxom ladies and strong (but silent) farmhands. Eating and drinking and laughing and music and rolling around in the grass for all eternity. No war, no conflict. Just endless green fields*.

*and maybe some snow - but i think they got that one wrong. See, it;s coke. They're not frost giants, per se.....they're just hung and high on yay.

-and when astreja gets here...just remember that she's a witch....no one's foolish enough to trust a witch, I trust.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Reply
#5
RE: Have you Heathens heard the Good News?
Not a thread about fox news. Clickbait title :p
Reply
#6
RE: Have you Heathens heard the Good News?
(January 22, 2018 at 6:24 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: *raises hand*

Can I be a dark elf instead?

You want to be a Drow?

Huh
Dying to live, living to die.
Reply
#7
RE: Have you Heathens heard the Good News?
(January 22, 2018 at 6:29 pm)mh.brewer Wrote: Sorry, already prepaid for a condo in the Halls of Mandos.

If you want to spend eternity hanging around with a bunch of Mandos, we won't judge.

Okay, I will!

Tongue
Dying to live, living to die.
Reply
#8
RE: Have you Heathens heard the Good News?
How many Valkyries like you does one get?
Reply
#9
RE: Have you Heathens heard the Good News?
(January 22, 2018 at 6:31 pm)Khemikal Wrote: Odin and the Aesir are a bunch of punks who can't take a joke.  It's Loki that yall need to bow down to...since his dog Fenrir will kill both Odin and Tyr while he's finishing off Heimdall come Ragnarok.  Lokis afterlife is an endless vinyard with buxom ladies and strong (but silent) farmhands.  Eating and drinking and laughing and music and rolling around in the grass for all eternity.  No war, no conflict.  Just endless green fields*.

*and maybe some snow - but i think they got that one wrong.  See, it;s coke.  They're not frost giants, per se.....they're just hung and high on yay.

-and when astreja gets here...just remember that she's a witch....no one's foolish enough to trust a witch, I trust.

That's all propaganda from Loki.

Angry
Dying to live, living to die.
Reply
#10
RE: Have you Heathens heard the Good News?
(January 22, 2018 at 6:43 pm)SaStrike Wrote: Not a thread about fox news. Clickbait title :p

Can't be.  Not once in the title are the words "alternative facts" used.

Tongue
Dying to live, living to die.
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Have you ever actually heard an response that made you stop and think? jmoney_419 32 4304 September 23, 2016 at 2:36 pm
Last Post: Thumpalumpacus
  Has anyone heard this before? Socratic Meth Head 13 2428 March 30, 2016 at 10:07 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  What's the lamest defence of Theism you've ever heard? FebruaryOfReason 458 39834 February 27, 2016 at 6:56 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  Good news ... told by an idiot GUBU 20 4100 January 20, 2016 at 6:44 pm
Last Post: Faith No More
  Saluting all the good and great theists we have had on this site. Whateverist 103 14167 November 6, 2015 at 7:14 am
Last Post: ignoramus
  Good News God is real, woo hoo!!!! Manowar 7 3084 August 13, 2015 at 2:43 am
Last Post: Lemonvariable72
  Your Craziest Religious Belief/Craziest Belief You've Ever Heard of Salacious B. Crumb 17 4952 May 18, 2015 at 8:21 am
Last Post: The Inquisition
  The dumbest fucking arguments you've ever heard. Creed of Heresy 111 25953 March 24, 2015 at 8:40 pm
Last Post: Creed of Heresy
  Atheists: have you ever had a religious experience and what did you make of it? tantric 110 14375 January 22, 2015 at 11:08 pm
Last Post: dyresand
  Atheist YouTube channel you may not have heard of Sejanus 2 1194 June 9, 2014 at 10:58 am
Last Post: Clueless Morgan



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)