Joke about Russia (self-criticism is useful from time to time ;P):
A man comes to see his friend, a minister, and says: 'I need your help to get a job because I haven't any qualifications.'
'Are you a Party member?' asks the minister.
'Of course,' replies his friend.
'Okay, then,' says the minister, 'I could make you my deputy. You would be getting ten thousand roubles a month!'
'Oh, no,' says the man, 'I'd rather something less grand.'
'Very well then,' says the minister, 'I can appoint you director of a large factory, two thousand roubles a month . . .'
'No,' says his friend again. 'That's still far too grand. I was thinking of around a hundred roubles a month ... as an engineer perhaps . . .'
'I'm sorry, says the minister, 'I can't get you a job as an engineer. You need qualifications for that. . .'
A man comes to see his friend, a minister, and says: 'I need your help to get a job because I haven't any qualifications.'
'Are you a Party member?' asks the minister.
'Of course,' replies his friend.
'Okay, then,' says the minister, 'I could make you my deputy. You would be getting ten thousand roubles a month!'
'Oh, no,' says the man, 'I'd rather something less grand.'
'Very well then,' says the minister, 'I can appoint you director of a large factory, two thousand roubles a month . . .'
'No,' says his friend again. 'That's still far too grand. I was thinking of around a hundred roubles a month ... as an engineer perhaps . . .'
'I'm sorry, says the minister, 'I can't get you a job as an engineer. You need qualifications for that. . .'