(September 1, 2010 at 10:56 am)EvidenceVsFaith Wrote: It seems to me that lately, whenever I get wound up, I have no clear idea what's irritating me so I'm not sure how to avoid any of it in the future.
Speaking from my own experience, there are times when it is the gradual buildup of several small things that accumulate that are, by themselves mildly irritating or even just trivial-- but over the course of a day or a week, those little things add up and can put me in an irritable state-- like a ship coated with barnacles. Because they are minor things (taken by themselves), they can often go by unnoticed, and when they are all taken together, the accumulation of those minor things can't be distinguished easily. You can't point to any one of those particular events and say, "That's the trigger for my anger."
Sometimes I am able, on close reflection, to pinpoint at least some of the recent events that trigger a certain state (not just anger) but it usually doesn't help anyway. I just have to endure it, knowing that eventually it will exhaust itself.
I generally try not to prevent unpleasant emotions from coming, but try not to cling to it either. But when it is too much for me, then I go to the other extreme and just wallow in it by turning to music, which, for me is a kind of catharsis, a drug even. Of course, music only deepens this feeling, intensifies it, but at the same time, it exhausts me of it. Its like vomiting-- I feel relieved afterward.
"We should have been excused from lugging a body: the burden of the self was enough." (E.M. Cioran, from The Trouble With Being Born)
“Society is not a disease, it is a disaster. What a stupid miracle that one can live in it.” ~ E.M. Cioran
