(April 18, 2015 at 5:34 am)robvalue Wrote: I'm interested in hearing from those of you who have come out of religion. What would you list as your sincere beliefs while you were a theist? For example:
Did you really believe there was a god, and if so, what did you feel you knew about him?
Did you really think your holy book was divinely inspired?
Did you have experiences which you really thought were divine interactions?
What else did you believe then that you don't now?
I hope it goes without saying I'm not intending to make fun of anyone, I'm genuinely interested. Having never been the slightest bit religious, I can't even imagine what it must feel like to have any of these kinds of beliefs. How did they make you feel?
Thank you
I grew up in a kind of happy-clappy, evangelical/baptist type environment. In church you'd have people being touched on the head and then them falling back into the arms of someone, supposedly overcome by the holy spirit, and laid out on the floor, weeping, giggling and all sorts. When it came to my turn I felt myself willing it to happen and wanting it to happen, but it never did happen. I felt my legs go weak but I knew it was of my own making in some way. I couldn't let go because I was too self-conscious and that basically convinced me later that it was all just some form of mass hynosis and something that a cynical/skeptical mind would never allow. For the same reason I never experienced any signs or miracles while I was a Christian.
All that said, I was still a strong Christian but the lack of any of those sorts of experiences was a constant frustration.
I think my most memorable Christian experience was when I thought, as a teenager, that I had blasphemed the holy spirit - the unforgivable sin - and had nightmares for months. Nothing anyone could say could convince me I hadn't committed this sin. I don't remember how I got through it, but that was hellish.
