Quitting habits.

[abaris]

I think the problem may be self-contempt and self-sabotage. I can come across as cocky but I feel it is a mask of artificial complacency and deep down my self esteem and self respect is rock bottom.

Yeah, that's why you need professional help. There are some stages in life where taking responsibility is just an empty phrase, since it can't be done. Believe me, I suffer from clinical depression, but it took me at least a decade and a major breakdown to admit that to myself. And I too was all smiles on the outside and my inside was nobody's business.

It's an illness, just as every other illness. It only has that unjustifyable stygma society put on it.