(May 6, 2015 at 11:53 am)dahrling Wrote:(May 6, 2015 at 11:44 am)Pyrrho Wrote: Actually, I am romantic. I am happily married, and have been for over 20 years. I regard my choice of wife as the best decision I ever made. It is just that I do not associate love and romance with a particular song.
As for the song to which I linked, I did not think of it from reading your opening post, but from looking at responses that you got from others, at least one of which involves a song that is more sexually suggestive than suggestive of romance or love.
My advice, not that you have asked me for it, is to find someone who you like platonically, as a friend, and then, after the friendship is solid, develop the relationship into romance. Sexual attraction, by itself, is lust, not romance or love, and so that is not going to be a reliable way to find love. But friendship is a kind of love, and so going from friendship to romantic love is a smaller step. This will also serve you well if you marry (or have a roughly equivalent relationship), because even if you have sex 4 hours a day, you are not having sex 20 hours a day, and you need to get along during those 20 hours or your marriage is not likely to last.
I'm always seeking advice
I think that the idea of a friendship blossoming into romance is very beautiful
The problem is that many times one of the two people in said friendship will develop these feelings first and the other one will take more time or not develop romantic feelings for their friend at all and their friendship can be ruined.
I prefer to put friendships before romance
But I don't really believe one can choose who to fall in love with. I still think that depends on many outside factors beyond our control.
In my case, my wife and I were friends for about a year before we decided to add romance to the relationship. We were best friends at the time. About a year later, we were married, and have been happy together ever since.
If one of us had not been ready for romance, we simply would have stayed friends. I personally think people worry too much about damaging their friendships with romance. Unless one is a jerk to one's romantic partner (which is really a contradiction in terms, as being a jerk isn't romantic), I don't see why it should ruin anything.
"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
