(July 6, 2015 at 5:45 pm)Pyrrho Wrote:(July 6, 2015 at 5:34 pm)emjay Wrote: The potential problem comes down to this. I think it's natural to feel flattered when someone gives you a compliment. But I got to wondering whether everybody does see it as a compliment. If you say you fancy someone, that's quite a general statement which the other can then ask 'what is it they find attractive about me?'. In the absence of further information people may jump to their own conclusions. And if they're homophobic and have notions about what a gay person finds attractive, then they may actually conclude 'he fancies me because he thinks I'm gay, or effeminate' or whatever and therefore take it as an insult. The problem with all of that basically coming from the statement being general whereas perhaps it wouldn't be a problem with more specific compliments like 'you've got a great six-pack' because that sort of compliment can't be misunderstood. It's just a theory and I wonder if there's any truth in it, hence the thread.
I think you are right to be concerned about how a homophobe may react. My "flirting" experiment suggests that if the person is homophobic, they are not going to like it. (Though if they are a closeted gay person, which is more than just a little bit possible, they might be conflicted and simultaneously like it.)
It's not so much about wanting to know how they'd react. I know that already. But rather just wanting to understand them. Part of the problem is that some homophobia may be due to having gay feelings but some of it may not be that at all.
