(January 14, 2015 at 2:21 pm)watchamadoodle Wrote:(January 14, 2015 at 12:52 pm)wolfclan96 Wrote: As far as they know I'm still christian at heart. What kills me inside though is the fact I cant even hint at what I really feel without emotions sorta rising. I tolled them I no longer wished to go to a certain church I've been attending for years as well as volunteered. This was pretty hard cause I did genuinly love and care about the people at my church...but couldn't take living out a lie every week.
Its like living in Orwell's "1984" but maybe not to the extreme of being executed for what I believe.
A couple of months ago, I became more comfortable that Christianity is bunk, and I have been making a special effort to do things to make family and friends assume I respect and believe Christianity. Whenever I visit my mother, I try to watch Christian TV. I'm hoping to attend church every Saturday evening with my mother at the Catholic church (even though we aren't Catholic). I might even start praying before meals.
Maybe a similar approach will work for you?
I see what you're saying but it doesnt deal with the root of the problem (for me at least). Its not that I'm hating going through the motions or expressions of a particular faith system...I couldnt care less. Eating bread and other ceremonial and ritualistic activities doesnt really matter in my eyes. One could do that all he wants but that doesnt necessarily mean he takes the beliefs behind it to heart.
What does matter is where his heart truelly is.
What I'm trying to say is that Its not going through the motions that bother me. I could do communion or group prayers and still shrug it off right afterwards...no big deal. What does bother me is the fact that I cant really be open and honest WITH MY OWN FAMILY about what I really believe withoute fear of em making my remaining days of Highschool misurable.
That is what bothers me most...
We claim that this nation was founded with principles such as religious freedom. Sure this is true (for the most part) in the sence of legality but socially this is untrue, at least in my opinion.
