So what happened?

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

AIDS, cancer....The Gayness, mental disability, poverty, and marital ruin due to addiction. “God”...,,has cured Drich....of all of these things.

Which really makes you wonder how the fuck he’s still so goddamned broken.

Add burst appendix, subtract gay.. I was accused of being gay by my father because I worked in the inner city rather than go out on a date. Also was propositioned by a fat gay guy in a gay park that I happened to be driving past as my service truck broke down. I would also say learning disability one that I was labeled with in that I do not learn like you do I learn a different way, (not that I can not learn) which in the long run is better as I can 'see how things work and don't have to work out problems on paper like other engineers do.. 

my wife's heroin use was a absolutely 100% real mess. I was coming off of the inner city ministry, and just started a singles/collage age mnistry where kids from the local university (UCF) got together asked questions sang in public venues then we also went onto group dating. Which help alot of church people who had always shyed or told to stay away from intermingling, as a way to learn how to date without the pressure of dating. quite a few people including myself got married from this group. 

I was tired of what seem like window dressing.. Like I said about camp/inner city ministry we could make a huge change in people's lives (the kids at camp) but only for a week or so every year. then funding and interest fell off because the first group of kid grew up and pretty much followed the path they would have been on even if we where not there. however we did impact a few lives and change them for the better (but I would not know this for years later) 

 2nd year in with the singles we went from a group of 5 or 6 to have 75 to 80 people pouring in to the church every sunday. Then we had an incident where a couple of guys in it for the wrong reason had a few girls over after a event, and things got out of hand fast. and this too made me feel like I was going through the motions/not really changing lives... I wanted to help at least one person to change their life meaningfully permanently. (little did I know it cost a life to change a life) so I ask God for this. 

2 weeks later was when I first met my wife. we dated 2 more years while I did this singles ministry and in the last year the church took my ministry away from me and gave it to a 60 year old decon. (they did not like some of the things I was teaching.) On top of that We where going out and hanging out to 2 and 3 AM friday and saturday every weekend then sloging it in sunday morning. The old man could not do this so the whole thing kind fell apart inside  a few months, which by that time was a blessing because it was about that time my Trich first OD.. She went to rehab and we played it slow for the next year everything seemed ok, so we decided to go and get married. she went to the dentist and for a shot of novocaine and pain killers and she was hooked again but I did not know. It wasn't till we where on our honey moon we went on a 7 day cruise and she could not get any drugs on the boat, and fell apart.. Talking about second guessing everything... This is also the week the US invade Iraq post 9-11.

Two things kept me going for the next seven years.. my prayer to help someone truly change, and the revelation I got while reading the parable of the unmerciful servant. which tells us we must forgive others sins against us as we want God to forgive our sins. Meaning if we want God to have no limit on how much we sin against him we in turn must also forgive others without end. 7x77 according to Christ. This was the key to salvation not all of the religious crap we are taught that is denomination specific.

Ask me again in another 5 years about these things and you will get the same story. why? because it is the 100% truth.

In order for God to use a man greatly he must first be broken deeply and thoroughly. Then rebuild into something God can use.

And again God has not cured me of anything.
You 'good people point out my self taught spelling and grammar deficiencies all of the time.

My cancer scare was because my t cell numbers are very high (cancer high) and I have some sort of marker or protein floating in my blood put there is a microscopic amount of blood in my urine... None of that had changed. they simply believe (After 5 years of testing and biopsies) this is normal for me and about 2% of the rest of the population.

We did grow up very poor. I lived with one set of grand parents or another. the white set lived on the rail road tracks that divided the white side of town from the black meaning there was no difference economically. all the kids I grew up playing with where mexican or black. the only white kids I knew my age at that time where my two cousins. then on my mother side we lived in my dads house which he bought before an car accident that made him take a job for 1/2 of what he was making plus he owned a paint and body shop in town he had to give up. So he worked from 5am to 10 pm and just bearly covered the bills. So my grand parents who lived there where also share croppers for the guy who lived across the street who owned a 10 acre cow pasture my grandfather who was a slave to the imperial army, worked that field into his late 80s where he had a stroke and was permanently paralyzed, then my grandmother my mom and us kids worked there to try and pick up the slack.. (to pay off their transport to the US) They grew korean vegetables and made things like kimchi (ferment cabbage)  gochujang (hot soy paste/korean ketchup) , and  Doenjang (sour soy bean paste.) smells like a cross between shiite and dead dogs. basically you puree soy beans salt them and put them in the sun for 6 months to a year, and every few weeks you have to scrap off the scabby mold cap and let it breath/fart. the whole street would smell like shiite and dead dog. Guess who went to school smelling this way? I the stinky chinese kid. It continued on this way till recently, and I would not say we where rich.. as I personally have little money. God just has seen fit to put me in charge of more things.

The AIDS Scare was also about my t-cell count. that time it was too low.
So whatever it going on affect my white blood cells. seems to me it's probably the same thing causing high and low cells but according to the doctor it is not something to be concerned with at this time. To the point where psoriasis and have to take 2 $5000 shots every month as to not become one of the "stone men on GOT" because my white cells are attacking my skin cells, and infantigo which is what supposedly made michael jackson white which is where your white cells are attacking your pigment cells, but it doesn't do it uniformly you get patches of white...

Seems to me My white 1/2 really hates the color of my skin.

Also Didn;t say I was Job, someone else said I was Job and I made a joke about it

Someone also called me forrest gump because of all of the tragic things that where blessings in disguise.

If I am still broken it is because nothing Got fixed, I simply learned how to remain faithful to my goal no matter the cost. The business was another huge burden that worked out well in the end.

My dad who just died was another adventure all to his own which is currently unfolding into a huge spiders web of a mess. so much so my lawyer says we should take notes and put this all into a book, because of the crazy twists and turns.

All of that to say Proof in God happens when you follow where ever God may lead you (wife with a heroin addiction for instance) and you remain faithful, he may keep leading out into deeper and deeper water, yet you follow you keep your vows and you lock in you will see this through damn the costs. to the point there is Nothing or no one else who can help.. till you are so alone you know you are the only one who has ever been that far out and you know at this point any help you get that can effectively work for you will be a gift from God. Then when the last wave washes over you and you are past broken God, like he did with the disciples in the boat flips a switch and no matter how deep you are in everything stops and you get escorted out. It doesn't mean you get out scott free, any bump are bruises you got along the way are yours to convert to wisdom and understanding.

For my wife the end for me was she od in the bathroom of a popular book store was dead in a toilet stall with a needle in her arm, they called the paramedics they revived her and took her to the hospital and two months later she was back at it again . we had a big fight and that night I put her on the couch and told her to go back to her mothers in the morning and at 3am the sheriff department served a warrant. She went to jail and they put her though a program with other really nasty people and she said it was like someone just turned off a switch and she knew this time she would be ok.

No meetings no relapses and it has been over 10 years. but that does not mean we can do things other people can. We can't be in areas where there are drugs on demand we can't go to parties we can drink till stupid we do have to live like recovering addicts. We had to elect to live a new life in exchange we had to let the old life and all the old friends go.

If any of you are in the area and want to come and check any of this out I have no problem with that. I got lots of pictures wife and family will be happy to back things up I got patent paper work got medical folders shops and car lots to share and will even buy you a nice steak or sea food dinner if you like. why cause i got nothing to hide as everything I share from me working with the inner city to my angel experience to the work time and effort I put into my ministry here is all True!

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Cool!

That's our current prime minister

It doesn't matter sweet heart I still hear Dr. Girlfriend. Matter of fact this was written in her voice as well.

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There is absolutely nothing they or you could possibly tell me that I have not heard, either by personal inquiry, or my degrees. 
In general, atheists know far more about the Bible than those who say they possess "faith". 
There is no "secret info" religious people are privy to. They have no "stash" of info the "unwashed" do not have.
Virtually every single Christian site would ban me.

before you turned into a potty mouth ad hoc mud slinger if you remember our first exchanges where very civil. till you began to loose ground. meaning when I would not take an argument down a familiar path that allow you the stereotypical rebuttals you had nothing intellectually left to offer. you then started in your ad hoc campaign.

That methodology of answering tic for tac and then when you are lost going ad hoc is exactly the behavior I had in mind that most of you default to.

This whole thread is a prime example of that for you.

Meaning if my exegetical arguments where deficient in any way then by all of your might and world wisdom you would definitely be destroying me on that front why Because that is my primary objective here. Rather than do that you attack me personally. why? because you have neither the ability or the exegetical knowledge to address any of the spiritual topics we have discussed. So you attack per personally. you attack spelling and grammar then my character, all without any personal knowledge of me outside of what others said. look at your last post. when you where told I claimed to have aids, you sought to details the specifics did not matter you already had and published a damning narrative without a single question to confirm or deny the worst possible story you could make up with this information.

They my slow witted friend is what I mean when I say you could not have 20 polished and well worded theologians hammer at your sunday school understanding of God you parade around like a doctorate. again how you address me with insult and poorly concocted narratives proves this beyond a shadow of a doubt.

This is true for any of you who take the low hanging fruit over a line by line exchanged of real ideas and documented backed statements.

Not one of you especially you buckser has the ability to be bombarded by 10 to 20 people daily who loath you, and you not just abandon all purpose and reason to just sling mud back at them and default to personal insult. I do this every day and have done so for 10 years. I have re imagined and re engineered all of the talking points and typical church preaching styles to conform to a dialog format that conforms to the rules you want to play by. again show when and where you have done that to be manhandled daily by people who think far less of you because in their eyes you are deficient in some way or another yet stay on topic answer each question as if it was the first time you heard it and give each and every single person the benefit of the doubt each and every new post. becaue you don't know when something you could say would spawn a real remark or question.

You left out the bits where you defeated The Joker, built the Pyramids, and invented perpetual motion.

Boru