Feeling a bit atheistish these days

[reverendjeremiah]

I know that's not a word

So is "agnostastic", and "Atheigasm", and "Christard"..LOL

but lately I've been wondering about my deism and whether or not I believe it anymore.

Hang around this site long enough and you will soon be questioning your political stance as well. I went from registered Democrat to Anarchist in one year being on this site.

I know that may sound strange but I have heard that the process of deconversion is a slow one, the transition is often imperceptible.

It is rarely an immediate transition, but instant deconversions from belief to non-belief are not unheard of. Some have switched from staunch belief to instant atheist the first moment they taste of warfare. You are correct though that usually it is a slow process.

I'm starting to wonder if the universe is really a grand machine and rather something that just came together and we, those on this pale blue dot, won the cosmic lottery. I'm starting to question if the human mind is really something so fantastic, that reason and critical thinking are fortunate by products and not some kind of "gift" from some mysterious cosmic mind.

Those are hard positions to defend, so I cant blame you much. Dont let ego get in the way. If you are wrong, then you are wrong, ego be damned.

It could just be my state of mind. I've been fighting depression for years now and in the last few weeks it seems to have gotten worse, to the point of my feeling physical symptoms. It's for this reason that I'm slow to make any shift in identity official.

first I would suggest toking on the bong every now and then, go buy a dog, find a hooby like art/music/mechanical stuff. If not I suggest going to the doctor as it might not be a mental problem, it may very likely be some kind of sickness you are feeling. If none of these help, then go to a psych.

Of course, nothing would change in any practical sense. It's not like there's any church I belong to.

Im of the mentality that deist "church" is a freemason lodge, unitarian church, something like that.

I've never believed in any afterlife or a personal relationship with God (I've said before that Nature's God is a hard-ass and isn't going to carry you on any beach). Yet somehow things seem a bit more drab without God being "out there somewhere".

dont let it bother you. being an absurdist myself I have to "accept the duality". This means I embrace AND rebel against the absurdity that is the human condition in a cold and heartless universe. In other words, I learn to "let go" when it is something I cannot control and to learn how to laugh at the absurdity.

It will be a bit inconvenient as I've made the critical mistake of using my beliefs in my moniker, both here and on YouTube. "Atheist Paladin" is already taken too.

Dont let that bother you. I for one would hold nothing against you. I personally like the God Loki. Nothing in atheism suggests that you cant like certain concepts of deities. I have met quite a few atheists who like Christianity, and really wished that a god was real, but could not bring themselves to run it on faith.

I personally label deism under atheism, or non-theism, myself.