A guy walks into a bar and orders a rum and coke. The bartender reaches under the counter, grabs an apple and hands it to the man. "I don't think you heard me right, I ordered a rum and coke." The bartender replied "Just take a bite." So the man takes a bite and says "Wow! This tastes just like rum!" To which the bartender replied "Turn it around." The man turns it around and takes a bite. "Wow! It tastes just like coke!"
A little while later another man walks in, takes a seat next to the first man and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender grabs an apple and hands it to him and the first man says "Trust me just try it." The second man takes a bite and says "What the hell?! This tastes just like gin!" to which the bartender replies "Turn it around." He turns it around and takes a bite I says "It's just like tonic!"
About 10 minutes later a midget walks in and takes a seat next to the other 2 men. "What can I get you?" Says the bartender. "I'm not really sure what I want yet, give me a minute." Says the midget. The first man says "Hey, no matter what you order this bartender has an apple that tastes just like it!" The midget says "Do you have an apple that tastes like pussy?" The bartender gets a smirk on his face, grabs an apple and hands it to the midget. The midget examines the apple for a couple seconds before taking a bite. He immediately spits it out and yells "This tastes like shit!" The bartender looks and him and says "Turn it around."
A little while later another man walks in, takes a seat next to the first man and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender grabs an apple and hands it to him and the first man says "Trust me just try it." The second man takes a bite and says "What the hell?! This tastes just like gin!" to which the bartender replies "Turn it around." He turns it around and takes a bite I says "It's just like tonic!"
About 10 minutes later a midget walks in and takes a seat next to the other 2 men. "What can I get you?" Says the bartender. "I'm not really sure what I want yet, give me a minute." Says the midget. The first man says "Hey, no matter what you order this bartender has an apple that tastes just like it!" The midget says "Do you have an apple that tastes like pussy?" The bartender gets a smirk on his face, grabs an apple and hands it to the midget. The midget examines the apple for a couple seconds before taking a bite. He immediately spits it out and yells "This tastes like shit!" The bartender looks and him and says "Turn it around."
CHRISTIANITY: The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Makes perfect sense.
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
Makes perfect sense.
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.