Seamus goes into the confessional and does the intro. He then tells the priest, 'I've done a terrible, terrible thing, Father Leary. I've...I've...committed adultery! I beg of you, Father, grant me absolution!'
'Of course, my son. But before I do, you must make a good act of contrition and tell me the name of the woman.'
'Oh, for the love of Jesus, Father, don't ask me to do a thing like that! She's married and it would wreck her life.'
'It was that Mrs. Murphy, wasn't it? The butcher's wife.'
'No, Father, not her.'
'The it must have been Mrs. Donnelly, the librarian. Or that terrible temptress, Mrs. O'Neil, her that's married to the police constable?'
'Not them either, Father. Please, grant me absolution and restore my hope of Heaven, but don't make me say who it was.'
Sternly now, the priest says, 'If you'll not make a clean breast of your terrible sin, I cannot and will not grant you absolution. Go to your home and pray for guidance. Come back when you're prepared to make a FULL confession.'
Abashed, Seamus slinks out of the box and out of the church, where his friend Mike is waiting for him. 'Well,' says Mike, 'Did you get absolved?'
'No,' grins Seamus, 'But I got three very good leads.'
Boru
'Of course, my son. But before I do, you must make a good act of contrition and tell me the name of the woman.'
'Oh, for the love of Jesus, Father, don't ask me to do a thing like that! She's married and it would wreck her life.'
'It was that Mrs. Murphy, wasn't it? The butcher's wife.'
'No, Father, not her.'
'The it must have been Mrs. Donnelly, the librarian. Or that terrible temptress, Mrs. O'Neil, her that's married to the police constable?'
'Not them either, Father. Please, grant me absolution and restore my hope of Heaven, but don't make me say who it was.'
Sternly now, the priest says, 'If you'll not make a clean breast of your terrible sin, I cannot and will not grant you absolution. Go to your home and pray for guidance. Come back when you're prepared to make a FULL confession.'
Abashed, Seamus slinks out of the box and out of the church, where his friend Mike is waiting for him. 'Well,' says Mike, 'Did you get absolved?'
'No,' grins Seamus, 'But I got three very good leads.'
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson