I made myself some crab paste sandwiches the other day. I ended up bringing the lot up in the toilet. Not buying from that chemist again.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'