RE: joke time
June 14, 2017 at 6:30 pm
(This post was last modified: June 14, 2017 at 6:35 pm by Fireball.)
A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency.
The social workers there raise doubts about the living conditions in a circus, but the couple produce photos of their 50-foot luxury motor home, which is clean and well-maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery.
The social workers also raise concerns about the education a child would receive while in the couple’s care. “We’ve arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills.”
Then the social workers express concern about a child being raised in a circus environment. “Our nanny is a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare and diet.”
The social workers are finally satisfied and ask, “What age child are you hoping to adopt?”
“It doesn’t really matter as long as the kid fits in the cannon.”
An avid golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.
“I have some good news and some bad news,” says the surgeon. “The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!”
“Oh, no!” cries the man. “My golfing is over! Please Doc, what’s the good news?”
“The good news is…... I have another one to replace it with, but it’s a woman’s arm and I’ll need your permission before I can go ahead with the transplant.”
“Go for it doc,” says the man, “as long as I can play golf again.”
The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.
“Hi, how’s the new arm?” asks the surgeon.
“Just great,” says the golfer. “I’m playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch, and my putting has really improved.”
“That’s great,” said the surgeon. “Not only that,” continued the golfer, “my handwriting has improved, I’ve learned how to sew my own clothes and I’ve even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors.”
“That’s unbelievable!” said the surgeon, “I’m so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?”
“Well, just two, said the golfer, “I have trouble parallel parking, and every time I get an erection I also get a headache.
The social workers there raise doubts about the living conditions in a circus, but the couple produce photos of their 50-foot luxury motor home, which is clean and well-maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery.
The social workers also raise concerns about the education a child would receive while in the couple’s care. “We’ve arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills.”
Then the social workers express concern about a child being raised in a circus environment. “Our nanny is a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare and diet.”
The social workers are finally satisfied and ask, “What age child are you hoping to adopt?”
“It doesn’t really matter as long as the kid fits in the cannon.”
An avid golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.
“I have some good news and some bad news,” says the surgeon. “The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!”
“Oh, no!” cries the man. “My golfing is over! Please Doc, what’s the good news?”
“The good news is…... I have another one to replace it with, but it’s a woman’s arm and I’ll need your permission before I can go ahead with the transplant.”
“Go for it doc,” says the man, “as long as I can play golf again.”
The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.
“Hi, how’s the new arm?” asks the surgeon.
“Just great,” says the golfer. “I’m playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch, and my putting has really improved.”
“That’s great,” said the surgeon. “Not only that,” continued the golfer, “my handwriting has improved, I’ve learned how to sew my own clothes and I’ve even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors.”
“That’s unbelievable!” said the surgeon, “I’m so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?”
“Well, just two, said the golfer, “I have trouble parallel parking, and every time I get an erection I also get a headache.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.