Kenneth Williams told a story about a book-signing he did. A woman came up and apparently said "Emma Chiswick", so he signed the book something like "With love to Emma Chiswick". She looked at it, looked up and said "What's this?" He said "It's your name". She replied "I said ' 'Ow much is it?' "
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'