RE: joke time
December 8, 2017 at 11:16 am
(This post was last modified: December 8, 2017 at 11:24 am by vulcanlogician.)
A pirate walks into a bar.
The bartender recognizes him immediately and says, "Come in, old friend! It's been years! Sit down, have a beer on the house."
"Arrrrrr, thank ye," the pirate says pulling up a barstool and grabbing his freshly-poured beer.
"So," says the bartender, "What's up with that wooden leg? How'd that happen?"
"Arrrr! I was out at sea and me mates mutinied against me. They made me walk the plank. I managed to swim to a desert island but along the way a shark made off with me leg."
"How unfortunate!" exclaimed the bartender.
"Aye!"
"So what about that hook? You didn't have that last time we met."
"Arrrrr! We were pillagin' a town on the Italian coast. I found meself in a sword duel with the local constable. I managed to stick me scimitar right through his chest, but not before he chopped off me hand."
"Well, at least you survived," said the bartender.
"Aye!"
"Well, what about that eye patch? You didn't have that last time either."
"Oh, funny story. We were two miles off the coast, and I was lookin' at a seagull who was circlin' above. Would you believe that little bastard took a shit right in my eye?!"
The bartender was puzzled, "But a seagull pooping in your eye isn't going to poke your eye out..."
"Aye, but I wasn't used to the hook yet."
The bartender recognizes him immediately and says, "Come in, old friend! It's been years! Sit down, have a beer on the house."
"Arrrrrr, thank ye," the pirate says pulling up a barstool and grabbing his freshly-poured beer.
"So," says the bartender, "What's up with that wooden leg? How'd that happen?"
"Arrrr! I was out at sea and me mates mutinied against me. They made me walk the plank. I managed to swim to a desert island but along the way a shark made off with me leg."
"How unfortunate!" exclaimed the bartender.
"Aye!"
"So what about that hook? You didn't have that last time we met."
"Arrrrr! We were pillagin' a town on the Italian coast. I found meself in a sword duel with the local constable. I managed to stick me scimitar right through his chest, but not before he chopped off me hand."
"Well, at least you survived," said the bartender.
"Aye!"
"Well, what about that eye patch? You didn't have that last time either."
"Oh, funny story. We were two miles off the coast, and I was lookin' at a seagull who was circlin' above. Would you believe that little bastard took a shit right in my eye?!"
The bartender was puzzled, "But a seagull pooping in your eye isn't going to poke your eye out..."
"Aye, but I wasn't used to the hook yet."