A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. `Tim, you`re first,` she said. `What does your mother do all day?`
Tim stood up and proudly said, `She`s a doctor.`
`That`s wonderful. How about you, Amie?`
Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, `My father is a mailman.`
`Thank you, Amie,` said the teacher. `What about your father, Billy?`
Billy proudly stood up and announced, `My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.`
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy`s house and rang the bell. Billy`s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.
Billy`s father said, `I`m actually an attorney, but how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?`
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
`The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.
Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.
Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60.
Being caught a third time will cost you $180.
Are there any questions?`
One student raised his hand and asked, `How much for a season pass?`
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one asked, `Where did you get such a great bike?`
The second engineer replied, `Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, `Take what you want.`
The second engineer nodded approvingly, `Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn`t have fit.`
Tim stood up and proudly said, `She`s a doctor.`
`That`s wonderful. How about you, Amie?`
Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, `My father is a mailman.`
`Thank you, Amie,` said the teacher. `What about your father, Billy?`
Billy proudly stood up and announced, `My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.`
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy`s house and rang the bell. Billy`s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.
Billy`s father said, `I`m actually an attorney, but how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?`
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
`The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.
Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.
Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60.
Being caught a third time will cost you $180.
Are there any questions?`
One student raised his hand and asked, `How much for a season pass?`
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one asked, `Where did you get such a great bike?`
The second engineer replied, `Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, `Take what you want.`
The second engineer nodded approvingly, `Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn`t have fit.`
"Alone is what I have. Alone protects me."
“I may be on the side of the angels but don’t think for one second that I am one of them.”
“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day."
“I may be on the side of the angels but don’t think for one second that I am one of them.”
“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day."