RE: joke time
December 12, 2017 at 1:33 pm
(This post was last modified: December 12, 2017 at 1:33 pm by Cyberman.)
St Peter is checking in the new intake at the Pearly Gates. He's giving the orientation speech when the crowd is startled by a piercing scream.
"Please remain calm, everyone," he says, "There's absolutely nothing to worry about. That was just someone having a hole drilled into their head to attach their halo."
He carries on with the briefing, getting everyone to fill in the necessary forms. Then there's another blood-curdling scream.
"No need to be alarmed," he says. "That's someone having a hole drilled into their spine so they can attach the wings."
A woman in the crowd says "Bollocks to this, I'm going down to hell," and starts to leave. St Peter waves his hands frantically.
"No, don't do that, you'll be raped and sodomised down there!"
"Well that's okay," she called back. "I've already got two holes for that!"
"Please remain calm, everyone," he says, "There's absolutely nothing to worry about. That was just someone having a hole drilled into their head to attach their halo."
He carries on with the briefing, getting everyone to fill in the necessary forms. Then there's another blood-curdling scream.
"No need to be alarmed," he says. "That's someone having a hole drilled into their spine so they can attach the wings."
A woman in the crowd says "Bollocks to this, I'm going down to hell," and starts to leave. St Peter waves his hands frantically.
"No, don't do that, you'll be raped and sodomised down there!"
"Well that's okay," she called back. "I've already got two holes for that!"
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'