Four duffers who had been golfing for about a decade after their retirements lost one of their members. Played threesome, but were looking for a fourth. After a few outings they noticed a fellow playing alone, and invited him to join them, which he did. He seemed like a nice guy, and they got on well, so they asked to come with them for their next outing. He agreed, saying that on some days he might be late. At their next round of golf, it was noticed that he was playing left-handed, where last time he had played right-handed. Upon inquiry, he told them, "I play right-handed when my wife is laying on her right side asleep, when I get up to go golfing, and left-handed when she's laying on her left side". They queried, "What hand do you play if she's laying on her back?" His response-"Those are the days when I'll be late!"
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.