This new guy comes in and sits at one end of the bar, and gets a drink. He tells the barkeep, "You look like a betting man. I'll wager $1000 that I can bite my right eye." The barkeep looks at the guy like he's lost his marbles, and agrees. They match money, and the new guy pops out his false eye, puts in his mouth, and bites down. Pissed, the barkeep pays out. The new guy skulks down to the other end of the bar. The barkeep, serving customers as he goes along, spots him there. He says, "You can leave now". The new guy says, "Tell you what. I'll give you a chance to get your money back." I'll bet you that I can bite my left eye". Barkeep is thinking that this can't be possible, matches up the money, and the new guy pulls out his false teeth and attacks his left eye. Money is paid, he tells the guy to get the hell out. New guy moves back along the bar to the other end. Barkeep moves on serving drinks, comes back to that end, says "Hey! I told you to leave!". New guy says, "Yeah, that trick was kind of mean, but I have a sure bet for you now". Barkeep says, "What?". New guy says, "I'm going to whip it out, and piss so hard that it will reach all the way to the other end of the bar, and I'll wager $5k!". Barkeep realizes the sheer impossibility of pissing that far, and agrees. They match money. The new guy whips it out, points it at a 45º angle (physics cognoscentes know about this), and commences to piss. Of course, it doesn't make it anywhere close to the other end of the bar, and the barkeep is ecstatic about getting his money back, plus some (though he and a couple of patrons have gotten wet). He collects, but has to ask, "I can understand the first bets, but how can you bet on that total loss?!" The new guy says, "See that guy at the other end of the bar with the shocked look?" Barkeep says, "Yes." "Well, I bet him $5k that I could piss on you and that you would smile, while I did it. He lost."
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.