A married Irishman goes to confession and tells the priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'
'What do you mean "almost"?', asks the priest.
'Well, we both got undress, we were on the bed, I was rubbing myself against her lady bits. Then, at the last possible moment, my conscience got to me and I stopped, got dressed and went home.'
'Sorry, my son, but in the eyes of the Lord, rubbing up against it is the same as putting it in. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put £50 in the poor box.'
The man leaves the confessional, goes to a pew and says his prayers. On his way out of the church, he pauses in front of the poor box for a few seconds and starts to leave.
'Hold on!', shouts the priest. 'I saw that - you didn't put any money in the poor box!'
'True,' says the man. 'But I rubbed the £50 against the outside of the box, which - according to you - is the same as putting it in.'
Boru
'What do you mean "almost"?', asks the priest.
'Well, we both got undress, we were on the bed, I was rubbing myself against her lady bits. Then, at the last possible moment, my conscience got to me and I stopped, got dressed and went home.'
'Sorry, my son, but in the eyes of the Lord, rubbing up against it is the same as putting it in. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put £50 in the poor box.'
The man leaves the confessional, goes to a pew and says his prayers. On his way out of the church, he pauses in front of the poor box for a few seconds and starts to leave.
'Hold on!', shouts the priest. 'I saw that - you didn't put any money in the poor box!'
'True,' says the man. 'But I rubbed the £50 against the outside of the box, which - according to you - is the same as putting it in.'
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson