RE: joke time
August 8, 2023 at 10:32 pm
(This post was last modified: August 8, 2023 at 10:32 pm by The Valkyrie.)
Putin in sitting in his office when his phone rings. He answers and a voice comes over the line, "Mr Putin, this is Paddy in County Cork. I'm afraid we've had to declare war on you!"
'Well, Paddy," replies Putin, "I have to admit that surprises me. How many people do you have?"
"Well," says Paddy, "There's me, Farmer Seamus from down the road, Mick the concreter, and the darts team from the 'Frisky Toad', so eight altogether!"
"I have to inform you that I have an army of 100,000 men!", states Putin.
"Saints preserve us!", says Paddy, "I'll call you back!:
Sure enough, the next day, Putin's phone rings again, "Mr Putin, it's Paddy again. Since we talked, I've added the church choir to our forces, and Mick has armoured two of his concrete trucks, so we now have armoured vehicles!"
"Well Paddy," Putin replies, amused, "I have over 3,000 tanks and I've increased my army to 150,000 men."
"Begorrah!", says Paddy, "I'll have go call you back!
Sure enough. Putin's phone rings the next day.
"Mr Putin, it's Paddy again. Sonce we last talked, I've added the school football team to the army, Mick's armoured Father O'Hooligan's car, and we've armed Seamus' microlight with a pair of shotguns, so we have air support."
Almost laughing now, Putin replies, "I have over 2,000 aircraft at my command and I've increased my army to 200,000 men!"
"Jeezus!", exclaims Paddy, "I'll have to call you back!"
Sure enough, Putin's phone rings the next day."
"Mr Putin, it's Paddy again. I'm afraid we're going to have to call off the war!"
Triumphantly, Putin asks, "So, you saw wisdom when you learned the strength of my forces?"
"Well," Paddy replies, "After yesterday's call I met with the boys and we agreed...
'Well, Paddy," replies Putin, "I have to admit that surprises me. How many people do you have?"
"Well," says Paddy, "There's me, Farmer Seamus from down the road, Mick the concreter, and the darts team from the 'Frisky Toad', so eight altogether!"
"I have to inform you that I have an army of 100,000 men!", states Putin.
"Saints preserve us!", says Paddy, "I'll call you back!:
Sure enough, the next day, Putin's phone rings again, "Mr Putin, it's Paddy again. Since we talked, I've added the church choir to our forces, and Mick has armoured two of his concrete trucks, so we now have armoured vehicles!"
"Well Paddy," Putin replies, amused, "I have over 3,000 tanks and I've increased my army to 150,000 men."
"Begorrah!", says Paddy, "I'll have go call you back!
Sure enough. Putin's phone rings the next day.
"Mr Putin, it's Paddy again. Sonce we last talked, I've added the school football team to the army, Mick's armoured Father O'Hooligan's car, and we've armed Seamus' microlight with a pair of shotguns, so we have air support."
Almost laughing now, Putin replies, "I have over 2,000 aircraft at my command and I've increased my army to 200,000 men!"
"Jeezus!", exclaims Paddy, "I'll have to call you back!"
Sure enough, Putin's phone rings the next day."
"Mr Putin, it's Paddy again. I'm afraid we're going to have to call off the war!"
Triumphantly, Putin asks, "So, you saw wisdom when you learned the strength of my forces?"
"Well," Paddy replies, "After yesterday's call I met with the boys and we agreed...
Dying to live, living to die.