(February 12, 2024 at 3:00 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote:(February 11, 2024 at 2:51 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: Danny isn't much of a drinker, but he goes to a work party and gets absolutely wasted.
He wakes up the next morning, naked, in bed, and with a terrible hangover. He opens his eyes and the sunlight blinds him.
Eventually, his vision clears and he sees he is in his own bedroom. On the bedside table he sees a glass of water, a red rose, some aspirin and a note.
Danny opens the note and it reads, "Danny, it seems you had a lot of fun last night. There are some aspirin here for you, your breakfast is in the oven for you. I'll see you when you get home. Love you -Julia!"
Dumbfounded, Danny gets out of bed, takes the aspirin, gets dressed and heads into the hallway. The hall is spotlessly clean, asbis the kitchen -not a thing out of place.
As promised, a full breakfast is waiting in the oven - bacon and eggs, toast, and a variety of fruit.
Just as he's finishing brsakfast, his son, Tom, walks into the kitchen.
"What happened last night?", Danny asks?
"Well, Dad, you came home completely wasted last night, well after midnight. You woke up the whole house when tripped over the cat. You knocked over the kitchen table, staggered upstairs, puked in the hall, and fell into the bed. You smelled terrible!"
Danny is confused, "If I did all that, why did your mother treat me so well? Breakfast, the house is immaculately clean, and I even had aspirin waiting for me!"
"I don't know, Dad," Tommy replies, the last thing I saw before I went back to bed was Mum trying to take your pants off and you shouting, 'leave me alone, I'm married!!'"
That story is surprisingly sweet!
WTF? Are you OK?
The next day I set their house alight and left evidence it was Tommy, the only survivor.
Dying to live, living to die.