RE: joke time
October 22, 2014 at 7:14 pm
(This post was last modified: October 22, 2014 at 7:42 pm by Cyberman.)
Then there was the blonde who got so sick of all the "dumb blonde" jokes that she bought a redhead wig online. Over the next few days, she was amazed at how differently people treated her. No longer the butt of the jokes, her confidence swelled and she felt she could do anything. She quit her dead-end job, got a better one. To better fit her new image, she learned to drive.
The day she passed her test, she went out, bought a top of the range sportscar and took it for a spin in the countryside. After a while, she parked up next to a field where sheep were gambolling.
"Hi," she said to the farmer.
"Arternoon," he replied, as per union rules.
"Beautiful sheep," she said.
"Oh ar," replied farmer. "They'm just 'aad little'uns. Fac' is, oi got zo many oi'm got to zell a few."
The ex-blonde thought for a moment. She was really taken with the cute lambs.
"Tell you what," she said, "if I can guess how many lambs you have, would you let me keep one?"
The farmer scratched his stubble. "That zounds alroight to oi, little mizzy."
So bringing all her new-found confidence to bear she closed her eyes, paused and then declared, "You have forty-two lambs."
The horny-handed son of toil grinned, flashing his tooth at her. "You'm exaactly roight," he sort of said. "Oi do got faaty-doo lambs. Now 'ee can chooze the one 'ee faancies."
So feeling really pleased with herself, she reached down, picked up the cutest animal and plonks it into the car.
"Now," said the farmer, "it'z moi turn. If'n oi can tell 'ee you'm real 'air colour, can oi 'aave moi dog baack?"
The day she passed her test, she went out, bought a top of the range sportscar and took it for a spin in the countryside. After a while, she parked up next to a field where sheep were gambolling.
"Hi," she said to the farmer.
"Arternoon," he replied, as per union rules.
"Beautiful sheep," she said.
"Oh ar," replied farmer. "They'm just 'aad little'uns. Fac' is, oi got zo many oi'm got to zell a few."
The ex-blonde thought for a moment. She was really taken with the cute lambs.
"Tell you what," she said, "if I can guess how many lambs you have, would you let me keep one?"
The farmer scratched his stubble. "That zounds alroight to oi, little mizzy."
So bringing all her new-found confidence to bear she closed her eyes, paused and then declared, "You have forty-two lambs."
The horny-handed son of toil grinned, flashing his tooth at her. "You'm exaactly roight," he sort of said. "Oi do got faaty-doo lambs. Now 'ee can chooze the one 'ee faancies."
So feeling really pleased with herself, she reached down, picked up the cutest animal and plonks it into the car.
"Now," said the farmer, "it'z moi turn. If'n oi can tell 'ee you'm real 'air colour, can oi 'aave moi dog baack?"
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'