RE: joke time
December 7, 2014 at 12:00 am
(This post was last modified: December 7, 2014 at 12:29 am by Schwa.)
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street. Suddenly, ahead of them, a twelve year old boy turned the corner and began walking towards them. The priest got really excited, and clasping the rabbi's shoulder says "Do you see that sweet little boy just up ahead? We should fuck him!"
The rabbi, a confused look on his face, stares at the boy for a few seconds. He then turns back to the priest, and replies, "...out of what?"
What does Albert Fish do after eating his vegetables/
He gets rid of the wheelchairs.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Zu'ul Knut
Hey, Zu'ul Knut!
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a Tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider
It sat down beside her
And said "Hey bitch! How's the food?"
Bill, a construction contractor, dies and is soon in line at the pearly gates. St. Peter looks over his file, glances at Bill and says, "Hmmm... looks like you were a contractor. I'm sorry, but we just don't let your kind in here." With that, Pete flips a switch, a trapdoor opens, and Bill zoots down a chute straight to Hell.
Bill, rather than gnashing in anguish, finds that Hell's residents and himself are quite bored, and always TOO warm. Going stir crazy, he starts smelting whatever iron ore he can find and hammers it into beams. He then began to mix and pour concrete, and before anyone knew it a first set of luxury condos had been constructed.
One day, God gives Satan a call, asking how things are going down in Hell.
"Great", says Satan. "I can't thank you enough for sending me that contractor. We have condos, swimming pools, air conditioning, cafeterias... things are really finally starting to turn around.!
This startled God. "A contractor? We never send contractors to Hell! Either Pete is off the wagon again or someone is playing a joke on me!!! Well... I hate to do this, but you have to send him back."
"No way!" Satan replied. "YOUR department fucked up, man. You made your bed, now you EAT IT!"
God, angered, screams into his phone, "GIVE HIM BACK, OR SO HELP ME I WILL SUE!!!"
Satan gave a hearty bemused chuckle, grinned, and said "Oh yeah? Just where exactly are YOU going to find a lawyer?
The rabbi, a confused look on his face, stares at the boy for a few seconds. He then turns back to the priest, and replies, "...out of what?"
What does Albert Fish do after eating his vegetables/
He gets rid of the wheelchairs.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Zu'ul Knut
Hey, Zu'ul Knut!
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a Tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider
It sat down beside her
And said "Hey bitch! How's the food?"
Bill, a construction contractor, dies and is soon in line at the pearly gates. St. Peter looks over his file, glances at Bill and says, "Hmmm... looks like you were a contractor. I'm sorry, but we just don't let your kind in here." With that, Pete flips a switch, a trapdoor opens, and Bill zoots down a chute straight to Hell.
Bill, rather than gnashing in anguish, finds that Hell's residents and himself are quite bored, and always TOO warm. Going stir crazy, he starts smelting whatever iron ore he can find and hammers it into beams. He then began to mix and pour concrete, and before anyone knew it a first set of luxury condos had been constructed.
One day, God gives Satan a call, asking how things are going down in Hell.
"Great", says Satan. "I can't thank you enough for sending me that contractor. We have condos, swimming pools, air conditioning, cafeterias... things are really finally starting to turn around.!
This startled God. "A contractor? We never send contractors to Hell! Either Pete is off the wagon again or someone is playing a joke on me!!! Well... I hate to do this, but you have to send him back."
"No way!" Satan replied. "YOUR department fucked up, man. You made your bed, now you EAT IT!"
God, angered, screams into his phone, "GIVE HIM BACK, OR SO HELP ME I WILL SUE!!!"
Satan gave a hearty bemused chuckle, grinned, and said "Oh yeah? Just where exactly are YOU going to find a lawyer?
Formerly Old Man Marsh of TTA
"Don't let those gnomes and illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions."
--Jake the Dog
"Don't let those gnomes and illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions."
--Jake the Dog