I was in a bar the other day and there was this rather large lady, of a type known affectionately as a salad dodger, wearing a t-shirt that said "Watch out - I'm a man-eater!"
I went up to her and said, "Excuse me; about your shirt..."
She threw me a dirty look. "I know," she snapped, "you want to know how many men I've eaten! Well, I have a glandular problem; I can't help my size and I don't care what you think!"
I held up my hands and said, "No, no - you've got me pegged all wrong. I wasn't going to say anything like that."
She looked a little taken aback and said, "Oh, ok! Um, what did you want to say, then?"
I said, "I just wanted to point out that's not how you spell 'manatee'."
I went up to her and said, "Excuse me; about your shirt..."
She threw me a dirty look. "I know," she snapped, "you want to know how many men I've eaten! Well, I have a glandular problem; I can't help my size and I don't care what you think!"
I held up my hands and said, "No, no - you've got me pegged all wrong. I wasn't going to say anything like that."
She looked a little taken aback and said, "Oh, ok! Um, what did you want to say, then?"
I said, "I just wanted to point out that's not how you spell 'manatee'."
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'