This is one of my all time favourite Peter Ustinov jokes.
A Priest and a Rabbi were taking a journey on a train. As fortune would have it, they found themselves together in the same carriage compartment. They exchanged pleasantries then sat quietly watching the scenery fly past.
After 20 minutes or so the Priest leaned over and spoke to the Rabbi, 'Do you mind if I ask a question?' the Priest enquired.
'No, not at all,' replied the Rabbi, 'go ahead.'
'Well,' began the Priest, 'have you ever eaten pork?'
The Rabbi sat back for a moment and thought, 'Yes,' he said, 'once many years ago as a student I ate a bacon sandwich.'
'What did you think of it?' asked the Priest.
'A bit salty but OK.' said the Rabbi.
The journey continued in thoughtful contemplation for another ten minutes until eventually the Rabbi leaned across to the Priest, 'Would you mind if I asked you a question?' he said.
'Not at all.' replied the Priest.
'Have you ever had sex with a woman?' asked the Rabbi.
'Once when I was a young man, before I took the cloth, I spent a night with a woman, yes.' said the Priest honestly.
The Rabbi leaned closer and said, 'It's better than bacon isn't it.'
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I went to the doctor last week. He said to me, 'I'm going to have to ask you to stop masturbating.'
'Why?' I asked
He said, 'Because I'm trying to examine you.'
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MM
A Priest and a Rabbi were taking a journey on a train. As fortune would have it, they found themselves together in the same carriage compartment. They exchanged pleasantries then sat quietly watching the scenery fly past.
After 20 minutes or so the Priest leaned over and spoke to the Rabbi, 'Do you mind if I ask a question?' the Priest enquired.
'No, not at all,' replied the Rabbi, 'go ahead.'
'Well,' began the Priest, 'have you ever eaten pork?'
The Rabbi sat back for a moment and thought, 'Yes,' he said, 'once many years ago as a student I ate a bacon sandwich.'
'What did you think of it?' asked the Priest.
'A bit salty but OK.' said the Rabbi.
The journey continued in thoughtful contemplation for another ten minutes until eventually the Rabbi leaned across to the Priest, 'Would you mind if I asked you a question?' he said.
'Not at all.' replied the Priest.
'Have you ever had sex with a woman?' asked the Rabbi.
'Once when I was a young man, before I took the cloth, I spent a night with a woman, yes.' said the Priest honestly.
The Rabbi leaned closer and said, 'It's better than bacon isn't it.'
_____________________________________
I went to the doctor last week. He said to me, 'I'm going to have to ask you to stop masturbating.'
'Why?' I asked
He said, 'Because I'm trying to examine you.'
_________________________________________________
MM
"The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions" - Leonardo da Vinci
"I think I use the term “radical” rather loosely, just for emphasis. If you describe yourself as “atheist,” some people will say, “Don’t you mean ‘agnostic’?” I have to reply that I really do mean atheist, I really do not believe that there is a god; in fact, I am convinced that there is not a god (a subtle difference). I see not a shred of evidence to suggest that there is one ... etc., etc. It’s easier to say that I am a radical atheist, just to signal that I really mean it, have thought about it a great deal, and that it’s an opinion I hold seriously." - Douglas Adams (and I echo the sentiment)
"I think I use the term “radical” rather loosely, just for emphasis. If you describe yourself as “atheist,” some people will say, “Don’t you mean ‘agnostic’?” I have to reply that I really do mean atheist, I really do not believe that there is a god; in fact, I am convinced that there is not a god (a subtle difference). I see not a shred of evidence to suggest that there is one ... etc., etc. It’s easier to say that I am a radical atheist, just to signal that I really mean it, have thought about it a great deal, and that it’s an opinion I hold seriously." - Douglas Adams (and I echo the sentiment)