Yay! Another talking animal joke. My dad told me this one the other day:
A dog is starving as he walks aimlessly through the forest, when he stumbles upon some fleshy bones. What luck! But as he approaches the carcass, he sees out of the corner of his eye a cougar lurking in the shadows.
"Ah, shit," he thinks "that fuckers huge. I better think fast."
So the dog pounces on the bones and says as loudly and casually as he could "Mmmm, cougar is best when it puts up a fight!"
With that the cougar turns tail and slinks away.
A monkey watches the whole thing unfold from high up in the canopy. He's not a big fan of the cougar, but he can't let the intruder outsmart his fellow jungle dweller, so off he goes after the cougar.
"Hey, cougar! I saw that dog find that carcass as he wondered through the trees. Lets go back and I'll help you get him." said monkey.
"Why, that little shit! Lead the way."
The dog saw the monkey run off after the cougar and thinks he's in real trouble now.
The cougar and the monkey creep up on the dog while it feasts on the bones. The cougar readies to pounce on the monkey's signal when he hears "Man, when is that damn monkey gonna get back with that other cougar."
A dog is starving as he walks aimlessly through the forest, when he stumbles upon some fleshy bones. What luck! But as he approaches the carcass, he sees out of the corner of his eye a cougar lurking in the shadows.
"Ah, shit," he thinks "that fuckers huge. I better think fast."
So the dog pounces on the bones and says as loudly and casually as he could "Mmmm, cougar is best when it puts up a fight!"
With that the cougar turns tail and slinks away.
A monkey watches the whole thing unfold from high up in the canopy. He's not a big fan of the cougar, but he can't let the intruder outsmart his fellow jungle dweller, so off he goes after the cougar.
"Hey, cougar! I saw that dog find that carcass as he wondered through the trees. Lets go back and I'll help you get him." said monkey.
"Why, that little shit! Lead the way."
The dog saw the monkey run off after the cougar and thinks he's in real trouble now.
The cougar and the monkey creep up on the dog while it feasts on the bones. The cougar readies to pounce on the monkey's signal when he hears "Man, when is that damn monkey gonna get back with that other cougar."
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:
"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."
For context, this is the previous verse:
"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."
For context, this is the previous verse:
"Hi Jesus" -robvalue