Personal relationships with deities

[Angrboda]

I used to have thoughts that were "different." They weren't different in that they were novel, but they were in a way like yours. I couldn't doubt the content of those thoughts. They seemed to be necessary thoughts that "had to be true." They were special in a way my ordinary thoughts weren't. Unfortunately for me, those thoughts I couldn't doubt also told me that I was from a different universe, and that I needed to kill myself in order to get back to my universe. I made several attempts on my life before I finally got on medication which could help me with these thoughts (and I was a theist who believed in a god at the time [I'm a former Hindu]). Long story short, the thoughts are still there, but now they're just ordinary thoughts. I can doubt them like any other thought. I just thought I'd share my story with you because your thoughts about god seem to lack the same flexibility to doubt them that my thoughts had. If you want to believe in God, that's fine. My believing in a god before wasn't a bad part of my life. But please be wary of thoughts you cannot doubt. I don't mean to imply that you are mentally ill like I am. Just thought you might benefit from hearing my experiences.