Why Religion is corrupt (on a personal note)

[WWLD]

I suppose i should give you some background information before i begin.

I live in America, full of religious people. I am 17 years old. So, since I'm not yet a legal adult, my parents can still punish me whenever they want, however they want, and for whatever reason they want.

My parents are VERY catholic. I'm an atheist. My parents hate this because I did not continue to believe in the religion of my upbringing (and of course THEIR religion)

I didn't tell my parents about my atheism until about a year...maybe year and a half ago. Of course, they were upset, but still had hopes that I would change my mind. ( they probably prayed that I would to. HA)

So...my mother, being the anal catholic that she is, didn't want to get me any Christmas presents this past year (xmas 2008) because I don't believe so why would I celebrate the birthday of Jesus? (even though he was born in July I'm pretty sure)

Well I understood that, and it was fine by me, but my father decided to get me some things, including a laptop as an early graduation present. My parents knew how bad I wanted one.

Then, about a week after christmas, I have Atheist Forums left up on my laptop. While I was out, my mother came in my room and saw the site. When i got home, my laptop was gone.

These are some of the things my parents said to me:
"I'd rather you be looking at porn than this nonsense"
"You shouldn't be using this computer for things we don't agree with"
"you may as well be going to stabyourparentsintheback.com"
"don't close the door to all the possibilities"
"don't be an idiot"
"this really shows us your lack of maturity"

and so on...

The next day my mother was crying, saying how horrified she was by the path I have chosen, and that she obviously did something wrong, and she just wanted to not have to be a mother anymore. She GROUNDED me, and left the house in tears for a few hours.

I love my mom. but...

I can't believe that she went so crazy and got so upset that I don't believe in a supernatural, all-knowing, all-powerful being that influences my life, that doesn't even exist. She goes mad at the fact that I believe in evolution, natural selection, while she believes in creationism and Noah's arch. She's mad that the "path" I have taken is a logical one, and not an ignorant one.

This is just one personal example on why I believe religion is corrupt.

I love my parents, but I wish they could see things my way sometimes.

[Demonaura]

They just don't understand your thoughts automatically. Keep in mind though, be kind to them, show them that you being an atheist does not make you a bad person, or a satan worshipper. You are still you and the only thing that is different is that you no longer beleive in god like they do.

Make it clear you still love them and you are still their daughter. The rest is up to them, if they listen to the church or realise their daughter is more important.

Unfortunately both can happen, religion loves to seperate people with 'us and them' ultimatums.

Of course don't take my advice blindly either, I've never been in your situation exactly but, I hope it helps you maintain a good relation with your family. Tbh family is #1 on my important things list so I truly hope the best.

edit: "don't close the door to all the possibilities"
lol, because atheisim totally closes the door. And ya know, catholicisim opens it. riiiight.

[CoxRox]

WWLD, I was sad to read of the problems you are having with your parents and my heart goes out to you. I have two children, a son of 19 and a daughter of 22. Me and my children believe in God etc but we are very open minded about it and discuss things (and our doubts). Your parents seem to be 'set in their ways' as regards how strongly they feel about their religion and God and they can't understand or accept that you don't believe or feel the same as them. I think all you can do for now is continue to be a loving daughter and show them that you are still you, you are still their daughter and hopefully they will come to terms with it.

[Purple Rabbit]

WWLD, there is something very wrong in the religious attitude of your parents even from a catholic perspective. Have you tried debating them from a more religious viewpoint?

For instance here a RC cardinal says the following on coerced belief (for stuidents):

One thing is for sure, any attempt at coercion or manipulation of students to bring about the desired result is against the nature of the gospel and will fail. The gospel must be allowed to speak for itself. Just as the preacher must trust that his or her words, if faithful to the gospel, will do their own work, so must church educational institutions do their best to communicate its substance and trust the rest to God. To do otherwise is an attempt to take the kingdom by force. There can be no return to the church of the 50s which was held together by obedient and unquestioning worshipers.

In other words, when your parents think they can force belief upon you by coercion or manipulation they are withspoken by RC cardinals! If they are after sincere belief, one thing is sure, they cannot bring it about by force and coercion, it must be a voluntary act of will. If they think otherwise, they must be living in the dark ages even to RC standards.

And indeed you were subject to a great deal of coercion:
- Physical coercion, keeping you grounded for what you belief.
- Emotional pressure, by using tears as a means to an end
- Emotional manipulation, by labeling independent thinking as an act of betrayal
- Abuse of economical dependency, by withholding you presents (since when is the giving of presents with Xmas a religious act, is father christmas a martyr of christianity of some sort?)
- Intellectual deprivation, by prohibiting to educate yourself on atheism

Also I suggest to get them defending their reasons to belief instead of you defending why you do not belief. Then the burden of proof will be in the right place and they will be forced to put energy in the discussion instead of you putting negative energy in a relation with your parents. How can they explain all the suffering in the world, what grounds are there beside the letters in the book to belief, why not belief in other gods, would they be catholic if they were born in India? Show them you want to assess their views and hear their reasons. Let them sincerely feel you might change your mind, but make clear that you cannot pretend belief. This also will give them room for accepting your viewpoint as a deviating but nonetheless acceptable viewpoint of their daughter in the long run. Aim for the long run.

I hope this will help you. Good luck!

[chatpilot]

WWLD your situation is sad and I understand what you are going through.I too am an atheist and the only atheist in my entire family.Unlike yourself religion was not forced on me,I simply followed it for a couple of years and came up with more questions than answers and the bibles answers were simply inadequate for me.I am still the only one who does not believe but I do not make an issue of it.We generally stay away from the topic of religion but when I am challenged I do stand up for my unbelief.I dont suggest you challenge your parents on the reasons for their beliefs since they seem to be very deep rooted and traditional regarding their beliefs.Any challenge would just create more friction and cause you more grief than is necessary.When you are old enough and are given some wriggle room from their grasp then and only then should you defend your unbelief if challenged.They will have to decide whether to respect your non belief or not,hopefully they will and leave it be.Good luck

[WWLD]

Thanks everyone for all the support and input. I will defiantly take your advice

<3

[Tiberius]

Perhaps you should show this thread to your parents. They might see how even atheist care about remaining with their religious parents. After all, they are the only ones we'll ever have. Did you get your laptop back btw?

[WWLD]

Yeah I got it back, only because my counselor told her it would be best if she did.

I want to show this to them, but I'm a little scared they will just punish me again.

[Demonaura]

Well, maybe showing them the forum will give the wrong impression. Perhaps a better way would be to copy our posts (my name might irritate em a bit though lol) and show them that instead.

This way they wont think your taking the forum and going "hahaha you cant stop me now!" And hopefully they will see a little better that we are the same as them, and even us atheists want theists to maintain good relationships.

Also, this counselor could be worth talking to if they trust him/her. Is the counselor a religious one (I'm assuming)?
Perhaps speaking with them and explaining that you just want to be able to get along with your family, even though you belive differently. If the counselor agrees with you then he/she could make an exellent mediator to help you speak to your parents.

Once again best of luck friend, whatever action or inaction you choose to take.

[WWLD]

Yeah my counselor is a believer.

You make a good point. Thanks