Feeling pretty gutted

[MTL]

Rob I have an extremely similar system, myself, actually!

I've tried describing it to a few family members, only to be blown-off, of course.

I developed this system after years of being told to "respect my elders"
even as some of my elders acted like spoiled children.

I assume everyone is worthy of respect; regardless of their age.

How they behave subsequently will determine if my level of respect increases, or decreases.

I will give an extra mead of respect to a stranger who is my elder,
because I am willing to acknowledge that they've lived through more than I have
and may be able to teach me a thing or two;

but that doesn't mean that my respect is vouchsafed to them, under any circumstances.

(George W. Bush is my elder, after all!)

I've met 8 year old boys who showed more maturity, nerve, intelligence, honour, and accountability,
than some 60 year old men, that I know.

As far as my sister goes: 

I actually already decided years ago, that once I'm out of here, I'll have nothing to do with her;
but as long as I was living here, I was constantly put on the defensive,
and my policy was to be as friendly and diplomatic as I could

..."turning the other cheek" as it were. 

And you see what it got me?  Zilch.

So be it.  She gets no more courtesy or sensitivity from me.

I respect her legal rights....nothing more.

vas-y femme
or you might say
vous allez fille
or you might say
You go, girl

You don't have to come up with a big speech about how you're not going to take any more shit. Think about what you can do (short of homicide, of course) rather than what you can say to show them it won't be business as usual.

I'm going to have a talk with my parents, tonight, summarizing what the ramifications of all this will be.

But to my sister:  She is now cut out of my life.  I already said that to her.

I will not be open to any dialogue, whatsoever.

Just as you said to your abusive ex, when he promised it was going to stop:

I know it's going to stop.  Because I'm done giving you chances.