Divorce questions/thoughts

[Shell B]

How is the concept of cheating immature if two people agree not to do it? It’s nonsense from people who like to pass the buck for their bad behavior. Cheating has risks for your regular partner. Expecting fidelity is not the same as claiming ownership. If you can’t be faithful, what’s the point of promising to be faithful?

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My best friend is a dominatrix who has never had anything but an open relationship. Judging by how many like-minded friends she has, it's very common and not necessarily very complicated. It just has to be everyone's decision. For me, it would be him lying to me that hurt me more than the sex.


I disagree. It's a good reason to reconsider the marriage or ask for an open relationship, but it's not a good enough reason to cheat. Cheating is super duper shitty.

Well asking is obviously the best option for him. I mean, there doesn't seem much downside to it. However forcing someone to be monogamous and then not putting out (for years!) If there is a justification for cheating, it's that.

Yeah, I don't think so, but that's just how I feel personally. I think it's a perfectly good justification for leaving the relationship. I'm not okay with cheating. There are consequences other than emotional.

No, obviously not. But he has talked to her about trying to have more sex multiple times. So it's hard to fault him if he were just getting laid every once in a while. Of course that's not what's happening here. He's having (Or about to have) a romantic affair,  which is really worst case scenario.

I'd fault him. Decisions like that have to be mutual in a relationship. He doesn't like her parameters, he should leave the relationship. It's pretty simple in my mind. I have to agree, a romantic affair is a bad choice. Things can get sooo ugly.