In support of the rage of man

[bennyboy]

You threw a tube tv, in rage.  You're lucky you didn't stumble.  This is some of the dumbest shit I've heard in my life.

 I think you need to get out more.

I worked for Social Security (Federal) for 25 years.

That kind of behaviour and worse  is  common in the  (my) community. Sometimes the large object connects. That the target of the tv did not immediately leave suggests a pretty toxic relationship at the very least.

Our friend does not seem to grasp just how close he came to ambulance, police and jail time. At the very least, a course in rage management is probably a good idea.

However, he won't do anything, he doesn't't really want to change.    If that were the case he would already have sought help, rather  than  discussing the issue on an internet forum.  The very last thing he wants is an honest discussion of his feelings, he will reject even mild confrontation. --THAT  opinion comes from a couple of years as a Lifeline counsellor;  I've met him before, more than once.

I didn't throw a TV at my wife.  I vented on the TV instead-- there was no point at which she was in physical danger.  But it was still a loss of control, and I didn't like feeling that way.  I now choose to avoid confrontation completely, and I think that's a pretty good choice.

As for seeking help-- I'm in Korea.  I don't have resources available to me that I'd have in Canada or the US. Your words do hurt a little, though.  "He won't do anything, he doesn't really want to change."  I've specifically described some of the changes I've made, and you never asked if there were others. Literally the only social contact I have is with people in this forum. Nothing toxic there, thank god!

But I know what counseling would tell me-- keep a journal of my feelings, figure out what triggers me, and avoid situations that are likely to make me feel frustrated. Put that pent-up energy into something more productive, like a good long run. Listen to relaxing music, distract yourself with some entertainment, or otherwise clear out your mind, don't drink alcohol or stimulants. These are all things that I do, because I'm actively engaged in the process of feeling good and trying to live better every day.

What you're assuming is that in describing an incident that happened about 10 years ago, and in talking about male rage in general, it's never occurred to me to research the issue. In fact, I haven't been enraged in quite a while-- because I am in fact taking those steps that I can. For someone in your position, I'd say that kind of prejudice is pretty dangerous. You are quick to demonize, but didn't ask any of the right kinds of questions first. Whatever you think your credentials are, you might want to consider going back to that training manual for a refresher, because I'm pretty sure you're not following protocol right now.

And this is kind of what this thread is about-- you don't know anything about what was said, or why.  You don't know anything about my feelings or how I've tried to address them, but you're already giving your "expert" opinion.  As soon as you hear that a man was angry, ever, you've got the word "abuse" on mind. You've got me all figured out, hey?