ACTUAL prophet of Jesus here

[Zen Badger]

You had me up to the bit about no laser swords.

Then pffffffft. Interest gone.

[Nine]

You had me up to the bit about no laser swords.

Then pffffffft. Interest gone.

If your really good they give you laser pen knives

They have tweasers and toothpicks and scissors that don't work

[Zen Badger]

You had me up to the bit about no laser swords.

Then pffffffft. Interest gone.

If your really good they give you laser pen knives

They have tweasers and toothpicks and scissors that don't work

Laser tweasers......

You could cause yourself some serious damage plucking your eyebrows.

Ok, I'm in.

When do the ships leave?

[Nine]

When do the ships leave?

As soon as Telsa the savior is ready

[Zen Badger]

When do the ships leave?

As soon as Telsa the savior is ready

Cool, can I have a Minbari battleship



They kick serious arse

[Nine]

Cool, can I have a Minbari battleship

Ill ask god. Ill try catch him in a good mood. Perhaps after a large natural disaster when he's most filled his lust for blood.

[LastPoet]

Although awesome, I still prefer the white stars

[NoMoreFaith]

Our father, who art in Seven,
Digital be thy name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done.
In fourth, as it is in seven,
Give us this day our daily alarm;
And forgive us our sleepin,
As we have forgiven our snooze button;
But wake us not from vibration,
But deliver us from evil.
For chime is the kingdom,
And the hour,
And the story,
Forever (until half past eight).

[Whateverist]

I'm a prophet to. I'm also a creationist. I never lie. I always lie. I'm a mix between a cat/angel/alien/human/tyrannosaurus/bob the builder.

I came here on a spaceship from the 37th moon of the planet spatula. God made the spaceship out of old rice which conveniently evolved on my home world exactly the same as on earth.

God also told me to wait for you to contact me on here so we could arrange a plan to fix the universe. When you are ready we will go to the launchpad near stoke-on-Trent where god has prepared the council of the elders. This is made up of a group of highly esteemed people such as: God, Jesus, Allah, tiddles (a cat), The Doctor, Saddam Hussein and a couple of wasps whose names are Robert and Samuel.

The council will then do the chant of the unfathomable pencil and launch us towards my home world. Once there we will then learn the ways of the spatula. Its a lot like the force in star wars but no laser swords.

When we have completed our training Master Kim-jong-il will take us to the galaxy of the reptilian antelopes where we will singlehandedly kill every innocent reptilian in cold blood to appease the council and stop them destroying the universe out of boredom.

Let me know when you are ready

Oh you special, special people. I'm sure God chose you each for a purpose. Fortunately I'm used to not being chosen for the team so I hold no grudge. I would like to offer my services as your gofor or chronicler. Let the record show that on this day, March 29, 2012 first contact was made between God's elect. We wait with bated breath to celebrate your success.

[FallentoReason]

Telsa you're pretty much a Pantheist; talking to the universe and what not. I think you decided to chuck Christianity on top of it simply because you live in the USA most likely. Otherwise your story would have been the same except with e.g. accepting the Hindu gods again.