Why does everyone hate me?

[Tempus]

Whatever the case - it's ALWAYS (and I mean 100% of the time) the fault of the person in question and not (contrary to their own delusions) the rest of the entire world around them.

I disagree with that. But I also disagree with 'being yourself'. Well, I partially disagree with them anyway:

It's not always a person's fault that they've not got long-term friends. However, I do think asking the question 'what am I doing wrong?' is a good place to start. Or even better asking what's wrong with the situation, which doesn't make the implicit assumption that it MUST be their fault.

Still, as I said I disagree with the 'be yourself' sentiment. People are biology with experiences. The experiences you've had up until now make you who you are. There's not some ineffable 'you' to be found if you just search deep enough. Therefore, I suggest you 'become yourself' by changing yourself into who you want to be. I think there are good and bad ways of going about this - personally I let the question 'what will make me happy?' guide me. I'd advise against letting 'how can I fit in?' be your guide because fitting in doesn't necessarily make us happy.

[Aegrus]

Because you post things like this thread.

Huh, this would be horribly depressing if I wasn't over my random negative mood-swing from yesterday.

As it stands now. . .

[The Grand Nudger]

Hey buddy, if you ever need a hug I'll take one for the team. Mind the bulge, it's not you, it's always like that (honest).

[thesummerqueen]

He's not lying. Show up for a hangout one night.

[The Grand Nudger]

You people are lucky I even put on clothes for those things. People and their silly coverings.

[Cinjin]

He's not lying. Show up for a hangout one night.

what is hangout?

[The Grand Nudger]

When I'm involved, exactly as it sounds.....

[thesummerqueen]

He's not lying. Show up for a hangout one night.

what is hangout?

On Google + you have the option of engaging us all in a group video chat. It's quite fun, but if you and Rhythm are on the same video chat with me I might be rendered catatonic by teh sexy of your voices and can't be held responsible for what I do when I semi-regain control of myself.

[Whateverist]

Look, thanks to all the replies, but I've been trying to be myself and just not worry about it for 19 years. In that time, I've made literally two friends, most days I don't talk to them, and I've never even had a date. I feel lonely and miserable every day. The "be yourself" sentiment hasn't worked for me so far. I think it's time for a change.

Wait, is this about getting laid or conversing? It seems like you're having plenty of verbal intercourse. If its the other kind you mean you need to be specific.

Pro tip for getting laid: It isn't about you. Look for what's worthy about her and let her know you see it. (If that doesn't work maybe it is about you.)

---

Stop giving a fuck.

Words to live by. Want to be interesting? Get interested, very interested, so interested that you lose track if anyone is giving a shit. Next time you're with people you'll have to beat them off with a stick.

[thesummerqueen]

Stop giving a fuck.

Words to live by. Want to be interesting? Get interested, very interested, so interested that you lose track if anyone is giving a shit. Next time you're with people you'll have to beat them off with a stick.

No fucking kidding. "You're always in your garden! You're always doing schoolwork! Why don't you want to hang out?! Don't you want to watch movies?" Well, frankly, no I don't want to watch movies, and no I don't want you to "help" me in the garden.

If someone had told me 15 years ago that the best penis magnet in the world was ignoring a guy and him realizing that whatever you were doing was 100x more absorbing than his attention, I might not have suffered self-esteem issues.

Now I chuckle when my friend Niall, who grew up in his father's nursery, announces to my "suitors," "There are thousands upon thousands of interesting plants. If you think you can compete with that, your ego is sorely fuckin' mistaken."

And for some reason this makes the dipshits try harder, because it makes it their personal mission then to prove that they're worthy of notice, even though I'm not really worth that sort of effort. Amusing...until I get tired of it and ignore them and then hear their complaints about how I don't have time for them, and that I'm stuck up, and really I warned them in the beginning.

Truth is, I make time for the ones who are genuinely interesting and who I can actually share things with - friends or lovers. And most of them are busy too, doing what makes them great, so it works out.

Aergus, from personal experience, guys I've met IRL might chat me up a bit just for having tits and a vag and being in the same group, but it's when they realize I have things to talk about and a passion that makes them really come alive - whether or not they have one of their own. If you spent some time just working on you and the things you're interested in, getting yourself published or whatever and some experience under your belt, you'd find that other people would light up out of curiosity of finding out what makes you tick.

People are perverse and love a puzzle more than anything else. Most assume that everyone needs someone and those of us that mosey along without that need are mysterious and (my favorite over-used descriptor) "intriguing."