Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: November 24, 2024, 6:42 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
How do I keep my kids from becoming atheists?

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
How do I keep my kids from becoming atheists?
Paul the Human Away
Retired Staff
*****
Religious Views: -
Posts: 2080
Threads: 52
Joined: April 11, 2010
Reputation: 47
#1
How do I keep my kids from becoming atheists?
April 13, 2012 at 12:55 pm
[Image: internet-troll-that-should-do-the-trick.jpg]
Find
Reply
Nine Offline
Bee-ad
****
Religious Views: Queen Bee
Posts: 4344
Threads: 43
Joined: February 21, 2012
Reputation: 64
#2
RE: How do I keep my kids from becoming atheists?
April 13, 2012 at 12:57 pm
That ought to do the job..
Find
Reply
Napoléon Offline
Posting Freak
*****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 12231
Threads: 324
Joined: April 14, 2011
Reputation: 140
#3
RE: How do I keep my kids from becoming atheists?
April 13, 2012 at 1:00 pm
Lol read this on reddit a while ago. Such a good response.
Find
Reply
Matt231 Offline
Junior Member
**
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 124
Threads: 1
Joined: April 1, 2012
Reputation: 3
#4
RE: How do I keep my kids from becoming atheists?
April 13, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Hilarious
Find
Reply
Anomalocaris Offline
Stem arthropod
*****
Religious Views: None
Posts: 19789
Threads: 57
Joined: September 24, 2010
Reputation: 85
#5
RE: How do I keep my kids from becoming atheists?
April 13, 2012 at 1:47 pm
God's work is just as effectively done if you hold your child underwater for about 20 minutes shortly after they were born.
Find
Reply
Creed of Heresy Offline
The Heresiarch
Religious Views: Humanism -> Golden/Silver Rules -> Anti-theist
Posts: 3179
Threads: 197
Joined: February 18, 2012
Reputation: 72
#6
RE: How do I keep my kids from becoming atheists?
April 14, 2012 at 7:10 am
God's work is also effectively done if you stone it to death when it dares to complain about doing chores.
Find
Reply
Reforged Offline
The Relentless Bastard
****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 3160
Threads: 56
Joined: February 14, 2012
Reputation: 39
#7
RE: How do I keep my kids from becoming atheists?
April 14, 2012 at 11:51 pm
(April 13, 2012 at 12:55 pm)Paul the Human Wrote: [Image: internet-troll-that-should-do-the-trick.jpg]

[Image: FatalityMK2011.jpg]
'Nough said.
Find
Reply
Oldandeasilyconfused Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: Agnostic Atheist
Posts: 7388
Threads: 168
Joined: February 25, 2009
Reputation: 45
#8
RE: How do I keep my kids from becoming atheists?
April 15, 2012 at 12:55 am
Or you can teach them the way I was taught; simply ridicule, abuse to hit any time they ask a question which makes you feel threatened in any way.

There is one tiny drawback,hardly worth mentioning really: Such treatment may cause the overly sensitive child to become a little resentful,and it might kill you in your sleep.Tiger
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
How do I keep my kids from becoming atheists?

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Drugs, not even once, kids! Gawdzilla Sama 32 1908 November 13, 2018 at 8:22 pm
Last Post: Jackalope
  Which AF member would you want to babysit your kids? FatAndFaithless 69 9841 December 1, 2017 at 6:02 pm
Last Post: Cod
  Let's keep the XXX in Xmas. Gawdzilla Sama 23 3889 December 27, 2016 at 5:50 am
Last Post: Fake Messiah
  Bibles, guns, and freedom. Keep the change. Losty 19 3737 October 15, 2015 at 9:57 am
Last Post: Edwardo Piet
  Rudolph is a recovering addict...........NSFW or kids. Brian37 8 3092 December 16, 2014 at 11:11 am
Last Post: Tonus
  Those Goddamn Aliens Keep Probing my Ass! ComradeMeow 27 3706 September 15, 2014 at 1:42 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  Keep Calm Something completely different 15 4495 June 3, 2013 at 3:12 pm
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Kids Say the Darndest Things . . . Atheist Forums Edition Shell B 17 8587 July 11, 2012 at 12:33 am
Last Post: Cyberman



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)