There may have been a thread like this, but I have a poor memory for such things, so I'm starting a new one.
Guidelines here are simple, post something funny a kid said. It doesn't have to pertain to atheism. It should be as ludicrous as possible. Cute is good too.
From my stepson about women's bathing suits:
Son: Why do women wear different bathing suits?
Me: Because they have breasts.
Son: Oh, you mean petals.
Me: No, I mean breasts.
Son: Yeah, breast petals.
I have no idea where that came from. It was a few years ago and it was adorable.
From my stepson about prostitutes while we were watching something about animal prosthetics.
Me: Isn't that cool that they can make prosthetics for animals?
Son: What is a prostitute?
Me (after laughing and giving away that he said something worth mentioning): I said prosthetics, honey. They are fake body parts made to replace missing ones.
Son: Oh, what's a prostitute?
Me: Watch the television.
My stepson the other day while eating a Slim Jim
Son (in a sing-song voice): I know a guy named Jim, he is slim and I'm going to put his meat in my mouth. Get in my mouth. Get in my mouth.
Me: Don't sing that in public when you eat a Slim Jim again.
Son: Okay. (Returns to singing to his meatstick)
My nephew upon getting into my car, which I had just cleaned and put a new air freshener in.
D.J.: This car smells awkward.
Post Card Grace while walking up the stairs after swimming in the pond. She had removed her bathing suit and tossed on a dress. Her mother sent her upstairs to get some undies. She was walking up the stairs when she encountered my ex-husband. She looked up at him and said:
Grace: Hi. (smile) I'm not wearing any underwear.
She then walked on while my ex blustered and turned red. He turned around and saw other adults standing on the porch and said: "I didn't ask!" We all busted out laughing.
Guidelines here are simple, post something funny a kid said. It doesn't have to pertain to atheism. It should be as ludicrous as possible. Cute is good too.
From my stepson about women's bathing suits:
Son: Why do women wear different bathing suits?
Me: Because they have breasts.
Son: Oh, you mean petals.
Me: No, I mean breasts.
Son: Yeah, breast petals.
I have no idea where that came from. It was a few years ago and it was adorable.
From my stepson about prostitutes while we were watching something about animal prosthetics.
Me: Isn't that cool that they can make prosthetics for animals?
Son: What is a prostitute?
Me (after laughing and giving away that he said something worth mentioning): I said prosthetics, honey. They are fake body parts made to replace missing ones.
Son: Oh, what's a prostitute?
Me: Watch the television.
My stepson the other day while eating a Slim Jim
Son (in a sing-song voice): I know a guy named Jim, he is slim and I'm going to put his meat in my mouth. Get in my mouth. Get in my mouth.
Me: Don't sing that in public when you eat a Slim Jim again.
Son: Okay. (Returns to singing to his meatstick)
My nephew upon getting into my car, which I had just cleaned and put a new air freshener in.
D.J.: This car smells awkward.
Post Card Grace while walking up the stairs after swimming in the pond. She had removed her bathing suit and tossed on a dress. Her mother sent her upstairs to get some undies. She was walking up the stairs when she encountered my ex-husband. She looked up at him and said:
Grace: Hi. (smile) I'm not wearing any underwear.
She then walked on while my ex blustered and turned red. He turned around and saw other adults standing on the porch and said: "I didn't ask!" We all busted out laughing.
