I love my Christian friend

[wise_blood]

Alright, the question that prompted me to join the forum in the first place...
(I tried searching for similar threads to avoid duplicate questions so feel free to direct me if I missed something)

I just got off the phone with an old friend I haven't talked to in a year. The conversation was great until it turned to religion and I had to explain to her that I now identify as being an atheist. She said that hearing me say it made her heart sink--much the same way I imagine MY heart sinks when I hear a child's parent respond to a question by saying, "because god made it that way." So, you know, to be fair, I understand how she feels

Thing is, I am in the Bible Belt, and a good majority of my family and friends are Christian and grew up in churches where the word "atheist" is synonymous with "god-hating satanist." I know this conversation will happen again with other people I love dearly. People who I do not want to hurt or offend. So what is the best way to explain atheism to a religious person you care deeply for? I hate the thought of a friend or family member feeling bad for me that I'll not get to be "eternally" happy, when honestly, my "conversion" has given me more freedom and happiness than any religion ever could.

In addition, and good and reputable sources for unbiased scientific and historical accounts of biblical events, religious texts, etc would be greatly appreciated. it is especially important that they not be affiliated with atheistic or religious organizations, for credibility with people who's first reaction is going to be, "they're trying to kill my GOD!"

[Rockthatpiano06]

I try to avoid the argument with my religious family if I can because if somebody is unable or unwilling to have an open mind, anything you say to them falls on deaf ears. You can tell them all the proof in the world that their religion is most likely false and they'll never change their minds. I would just explain that you do not believe in gods and just believe in doing good in this life and that's enough for you (that's how I explain it anyway).

[fr0d0]

If you simply say that you don't believe that is enough. You had good reason to shift your beliefs or you wouldn't have. Digging trenches is counter productive to logic. I love discussing the subject with people of any belief or lack of. Why does your position alter that?

[wise_blood]

If you simply say that you don't believe that is enough. You had good reason to shift your beliefs or you wouldn't have. Digging trenches is counter productive to logic. I love discussing the subject with people of any belief or lack of. Why does your position alter that?

Just to clarify, you're saying I shouldn't discuss the matter with them at all?

I love discussion, too. Which I can see (given the conversation I just had) is a desire I will likely have to quell in many situations.

[fr0d0]

No I don't agree with not talking about it.. but then you're the person in the situation and can judge what to do or say.

I suppose you being new to your philosophical position you've yet to find a way to express your feelings honestly.. in which case I'd support you in cementing your opinions.

I honestly feel sorry that your subjected to descrimination.

[LEDO]

If it is a good piece of ass say, "Praise Jesus." Really, what does it matter? You could fake believing in God, if you want, without worrying about any eternal punishment worse than what you are going to get anyway.

[wise_blood]

If it is a good piece of ass say, "Praise Jesus." Really, what does it matter? You could fake believing in God, if you want, without worrying about any eternal punishment worse than what you are going to get anyway.

You're right, and that's something I've done before, but I'd rather not have to lie to people I care about. Aside from being a horrible liar, I'd also really like my family and friends to accept what I believe.

I guess I should rephrase my question to ask if anyone out there has any anecdotal advice on things they say in these situations. It's one thing to have a civil discussion about religion and philosophy. It's entirely different when emotions are involved. Like what Rockthatpiano06 said she tells her family. Something that lets them know I'm not unhappy or without a moral compass.

I'm asking because it's hard to think clearly if the conversation gets emotional. And as nice as it would be to just avoid it altogether, there will be times when a barrage of questions gets thrown at me (like it did today) despite my attempts to end the conversation.

[Faith Tester]

I encounter the same issue sometimes with friends and family (most of whom are very religious). I try not to talk to them about it too much. If I do they think I am trying to convince them to abandon their religion. My counter argument to them is that you should not talk about religion because by doing that yuo are corrupting my faith and trying to dissuade me from it.

---

I encounter the same issue sometimes with friends and family (most of whom are very religious). I try not to talk to them about it too much. If I do they think I am trying to convince them to abandon their religion. My counter argument to them is that you should not talk about religion because by doing that yuo are corrupting my faith and trying to dissuade me from it.

I think I should have said "my way of life" as opposed to saying "my faith" at the end.

[LEDO]

If it is a good piece of ass say, "Praise Jesus." Really, what does it matter? You could fake believing in God, if you want, without worrying about any eternal punishment worse than what you are going to get anyway.

You're right, and that's something I've done before, but I'd rather not have to lie to people I care about. Aside from being a horrible liar, I'd also really like my family and friends to accept what I believe.

I guess I should rephrase my question to ask if anyone out there has any anecdotal advice on things they say in these situations. It's one thing to have a civil discussion about religion and philosophy. It's entirely different when emotions are involved. Like what Rockthatpiano06 said she tells her family. Something that lets them know I'm not unhappy or without a moral compass.

I'm asking because it's hard to think clearly if the conversation gets emotional. And as nice as it would be to just avoid it altogether, there will be times when a barrage of questions gets thrown at me (like it did today) despite my attempts to end the conversation.

There is a common miscinception that godless=immoral. A person who is moral because they fear eternal punishment is not a good person inside. A person who is moral because it is the right thing to do, I believe is a better person. In this regard atheists must lead by example to overcome stereotypes. It also helps to point to certain famous people who are atheists, and moral. http://www.celebatheists.com/?title=Main_Page

A person who is moral because they want to be is better than one who believes he must be moral for fear of eternal punishment.

[Faith Tester]

I support you LEDO. There is this mis-conception that an atheist can never be a moral person.