Friend turned to religion in bad way, please help.

[freeman552]

Hello fellow atheists :)
Im new here, so forgive my ignorance if I'm not posting this into the correct category.

Anyways, here is the situation: I have a friend whom I have known for 12 or 13 years, and we never had any significant conflicts. We are in different countries right now, so we talk only through Facebook. He has always identified himself as an agnostic, but somewhere in the last 1 or 2 months he has turned to religion. Normally I would'nt mind it too much, it's his life after all, but the problem is that he is now constantly pressuring me into doing the same thing, and for the last couple of days it was pretty much all he wrote about. I tried to avoid the subject as much as possible, acted dumb, didn't reply to his messages, but he just kept going further and further. And the thing is, when I tell him I do not want to hear about it, without even bashing religion in any way, he becomes very rude and aggressive, I have litteraly never seen him act this way before! It has been only 2 days, and this whole thing is ruining our friendship already! :(

So, any advice on what I can do to get him out of it, or at the very least, get him to stop pushing his views on me?

A response would be very much appreciated.

[pineapplebunnybounce]

What religion, if i may ask?

I think maybe he's really bought into it and is worried about your "eternal soul"? He's likely doing this out of concern for you if you're very close friends. Maybe ask him if he thinks what he's doing is convincing you. That if he thinks his acting this way would move you closer to his religion, or cause you to be suspicious of it? Try to help him see that his actions are not making you like his religion any better, and that you're a little worried about him.

Another approach, the one I take when someone tries to convert me, is to tell them why i don't believe. Which is that there is no evidence. And if they came up with evidence I would consider it. They usually can't come up with evidence and would drop it.

[Minimalist]

Become rude and aggressive, too.

If he prefers his new invisible friend to you there isn't much you can do about it anyway.

You don't say how old he is but sudden personality changes in young adults can be indications of severe mental illness. If he is a young adult the problem is beyond your capacity to influence.

[freeman552]

What religion, if i may ask?

I think maybe he's really bought into it and is worried about your "eternal soul"? He's likely doing this out of concern for you if you're very close friends. Maybe ask him if he thinks what he's doing is convincing you. That if he thinks his acting this way would move you closer to his religion, or cause you to be suspicious of it? Try to help him see that his actions are not making you like his religion any better, and that you're a little worried about him.

Another approach, the one I take when someone tries to convert me, is to tell them why i don't believe. Which is that there is no evidence. And if they came up with evidence I would consider it. They usually can't come up with evidence and would drop it.

The dominant religion in this country (my country of origin) is orthodox christianity, so I would assume that is it.

I don't know, I tried explaining to him that I simply want to live my life otherwise. Some of his responses were: "Your view on the world is bulls**t", "You're stupid, if you want to live in darkness, go for it", and, simply, "you're a d***"...

But you bring up interesting points, I will see what I can do with that

---

Become rude and aggressive, too.

If he prefers his new invisible friend to you there isn't much you can do about it anyway.

You don't say how old he is but sudden personality changes in young adults can be indications of severe mental illness. If he is a young adult the problem is beyond your capacity to influence.

Becoming rude and aggressive myself is the perfect way to destroy the friendship forever, which I do not want to do because as I said it was almost flawless up to now.

He's 22, I know that he has been taking testosterone-stimulating medication (why he thought it was a good idea, I do not know, it wasnt recommended by a doctor or anything), and I noticed some personality changes which I'm sure are due to that, but why he chose religion all of a sudden is completely beyond my understanding.

[FifthElement]

I'm not trying to see things in negative light here, but if he told you that you are stupid for not believing, you friendship is already destroyed, possibly forever ...

I recently ditched out of my life my own brother, he was telling me the same bullshit like your friend did to you

The thing is, I do not want to be surrounded by negative people in my life, especially if that negativity is religion based, even if it's my own family...

If he sees you like that, he is not your friend anymore, at least not the friend you thought you had before

Sorry, I really feel for ya.

P.S. If you think he is just confused and there is hope, link in my sig (Why won't god heal amputees ?) might help, lol.

[pineapplebunnybounce]

I'm on the other camp here, I think when friends get stupid we should be understanding and try to salvage it. When they get out of it they'd understand, if they never get out of it ... well you decide when to call it quits. It really depends on how much this is worth to you.

Plus that testosterone thing. I would think that is why he's so aggressive. Get him to see a doctor.

[Esquilax]

The dominant religion in this country (my country of origin) is orthodox christianity, so I would assume that is it.

I don't know, I tried explaining to him that I simply want to live my life otherwise. Some of his responses were: "Your view on the world is bulls**t", "You're stupid, if you want to live in darkness, go for it", and, simply, "you're a d***"...

Ask him if his god would really want him to be saying things like that. Remind him, quite forcefully if you have to, that right now he's acting as a representative of his religion when he gets into conversations like this with a nonbeliever, and that not only should he be acting in a way consistent with his own beliefs (despite the words in the bible, most christians seem to think theirs is a religion of peace) but in a way that will save you from hell. After all, if he's your friend, he must not want that for you, right?

It probably won't stop the arguments, but maybe it'll get him to stop and think, possibly conduct them in a more respectful way.

[pocaracas]

Welcome to AF.org!
Enjoy your stay.

About your friend...well, what everyone else said...
You need to tell him he's not acting like himself. That you suspect it's because of the "supplements".
It's a facebook chat, not much you can do...

[Cato]

Challenge every aspect of his conversion process. If in the end he chooses to believe for no demonstrable reason, try to set boundaries on the preaching aspect of your friendship. If he can't abide by this you may be forced to drift off into the sunset.

Testosterone-stimulating medication? I don't know what this means if he's not being prescribed his 'drugs' from a doctor, as you suggest. Is the aggressive behavior 'roid rage' of some sort?

If the testosterone stimulating medication is one of the many 'Ageless Male' type scams, your friend may be susceptible to fast talkers perpetuating scams of any sort.

Either way, I have to agree with Min here. I would have entertained any conversation after his conversion, but the moment he started becoming rude and aggressive would have been the moment I told him to go fuck himself. Your lost friendship may be lamentable; however, there are 7 billion people in the world. You shouldn't have to put up with that shit.

[Faith No More]

I may be biased because I clung to a couple of friendships long after I should have abandoned them, but you may have to start considering that the friendship cannot be salvaged.

Regardless, if a friend is unwilling to accept you have differing beliefs, and even resorts to childish insults because of it, you probably ought to really reflect on whether or not this person is a true friend.