Cornball joke thread, incert silliness here.

[Brian37]

I was thinking about starting an atheist restaurante, nothing will be on the menue.

I was thinking about starting a nudist camp with cloths required.

How about a NASCAR race with a speed limit of 25mph(safety first).

How about investing in stringless parachutes? One time use only.

Or how about investing in waterless swimming pools? Ok get picky, the diving might be a bitch.

Waitress goes into the kitchen and asks for poached eggs. The cook responds "We don't deal in stolen property"

Waitress goes into the kitchen and asks for french toast, the cook responds "Frech toast? Women maybe, but that is kinky".

Or how about shaping an NFL feild like a olympic running track with no endzones. The game would go on forever.

Or how about baseball with no bases, you hit the ball and keep running?

Did I mention I like shiney objects?

[Brian37]

Original song lyrics rejected by the record companies.

1. "People
People who kill people
ARE THE UGLIST PEOPLE"
Barbra had to revise that and resubmit the song.

2. "Gangsters holding knives
Exchanging stab wounds"
Frank, also had to revise and re sbumit.

3. "Welcome to McDonald's
It gets slower here every day
Learn to live like a fry cook
In the kitchen where we play
In McDonalds
Welcome to McDonalds
I wanna hambuger with CHEESE CHEESE
NO PICKLES PLEASE!!"
(Axel was pissed that he had to change it)

4. In case you
Haven heard this song before
Gonna keep playen it
Gonna keep playen it
Until it becomes
Impossible to ignore
(Keys was asked also to resubmit)

[Brian37]

I just realized. If I can sew a sweater and am quick with a joke, does that make me a knit wit?

[Brian37]

Porn free
As free as the internet
As hard as my woody gets
Cause your porn free
(What, TMI?)

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THIS GIRL BAKES WITH FLOWER
THIS GIRL BAKES WITH FLOWER

Or

I NEED TO TAKE A SHOWER
I NEED TO TAKE A SHOWER

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TIME LIFE MUSIC SHAMEFULLY PRESENTS "SONGS THAT MAKE NO SENSE"