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Current time: November 14, 2019, 12:55 am

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joke time
#1
joke time
A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He currently asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.

The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab
and opened the door.

The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing? "
The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel!"
ROFLOL
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#2
RE: joke time
My favorite quick one is:

If you look at it differently...

"If a man should lie with another man as he does a woman, he shall be stoned"

could be an endorsement of both pot legalization and gay marriage!
In every country and every age, the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
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#3
RE: joke time
Quote:What an interesting turn of events in Mt. Vernon, Texas

Diamond D's brothel began construction on an expansion of their building to increase their ever-growing business.
In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the business from expanding with morning, afternoon, and evening prayer sessions at their church. Work on Diamond D's progressed right up until the week before the grand re-opening when lightning struck the whorehouse and burned it to the ground!

After the cat-house was burned to the ground by the lightning strike, the church folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about "the power of prayer".

But late last week 'Big Jugs' Jill Diamond, the owner/madam, sued the church, the preacher and the entire congregation on the grounds that the church "was ultimately responsible for the demise of her building and her business, either through direct or indirect divine actions or means."

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently and voraciously denied any and all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise.

The crusty old judge read through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's reply, and at the opening hearing he commented,
"I don't know how the hell I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, that we now have a whorehouse owner who staunchly believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that thinks it's all bullshit."
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#4
RE: joke time
A friend of mine told me that onions are the only vegetable that makes you cry. I proved her wrong by throwing a cabbage in her face.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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#5
RE: joke time
What do you call a muslim that owns a camel and a goat?

- A bisexual


What do you call a muslim goat herder?

- A pimp.
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#6
RE: joke time
How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
(WIP. Best answer gets big kudos and a sloppy kiss from Losty!)

Attempt #1

None, they like being kept in the dark.
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#7
RE: joke time
Muhammed spent much of his time up mountains and having paedophile sex with nine year old girls.

Jesus spent much of his time being a fisher of men and feeding multitudes with seafood.

That's the difference between gross prophet and net prophet.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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#8
RE: joke time
Shit. Accounting jokes.
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#9
RE: joke time
(August 20, 2014 at 12:16 pm)Stimbo Wrote: Muhammed spent much of his time up mountains and having paedophile sex with nine year old girls.

Jesus spent much of his time being a fisher of men and feeding multitudes with seafood.

That's the difference between gross prophet and net prophet.

Haha loved it
Even though I don't understand economics.
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#10
RE: joke time
(August 7, 2014 at 11:39 pm)ignoramus Wrote: How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
(WIP. Best answer gets big kudos and a sloppy kiss from Losty!)

2 or more..

Whenever two or more christians gather in his name, god will light the bulb with his holy light causing all to marvel at his wondrous works. (except the atheists who will notice that the bulb hasn't been changed and that the christians are still in the dark bragging to each other about how bright the bulb is for them.)
Find the cure for Fundementia!
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