You're Welcome, Boys.

[Darth]

The poem brought tears to me eyes.

Edit: Couldn't... breathe....

[Minimalist]

What a bunch of pussies.

[Whateverist]

One of many favorites:

Excellent product. Most prisoners confessed within five minutes of the first application. Can recommend.

Yours,
Ali Muhabarakah,
Secret Police, Damascus

[Aroura]

Oh my! LOL. I practically hurt myself laughing! Thanks for the link, I must share it.

[Cyberman]

This is fantastic stuff (the reviews, not the product. Well, it might be, but I've never used it myself so can't really comment. Of course I could comment, as a matter of fact I'm doing it now, but there's a risk I'll just come across as a rambling idiot who's just babbling on about something he's completely ignorant about, and I didn't really want to go into the priesthood).

Where was I? Oh, right. I'm going to have to share this with all of my Facebook friend.

(sic. Sadly.)

[Something completely different]

As a reformed member of the Vietcong and survivor of numerous F4 Phantom Napalm strikes, I can say with confidence that the Yanks used the wrong ingredients for their incendiary devices.

I applied a small dab of this product onto my gentleman's sphericals and the searing pain was immediate, intense and will cause me flashbacks for the rest of my life. My poor swollen glands now have a blue hue and I fear they will never recover.

Had Colonel Kilgore and his dogs used this against my brave communist brothers we would have surrendered immediately.

Rubbed it onto my bum crack and chocolate starfish and left it for an hour. My ringpiece now resembles the leftovers of last nights kebab. I look like I've been fisted by Dumbo. Highly recommended product.

Being scottish, im not a wimp like all the other reviewers of this product. I squeezed the whole tube out and smeared it all over my back,sack and crack. The sensation was the most intense thing i have EVER experienced. I can strongly recommend it to all men out there. I now do this on a weekly basis, forming a rather intense thursday night experience... but i need more each time for the same hit!

ps. however, i think i may now also be sterile as a side effect.

This stuff is brilliant! We took some on my mate's stag night, and got another mate's sister to give a "nice relaxing head massage". By the time the burning sensation had got thru the beer anasthetic it's time for a rinse off under a tap in the gents, & the results were truly something to behold! Blocked two sinks though.

Oh my ....

[Whateverist]

This is fantastic stuff (the reviews, not the product. Well, it might be, but I've never used it myself so can't really comment. Of course I could comment, as a matter of fact I'm doing it now, but there's a risk I'll just come across as a rambling idiot who's just babbling on about something he's completely ignorant about, and I didn't really want to go into the priesthood).

Where was I? Oh, right. I'm going to have to share this with all of my Facebook friend.

(sic. Sadly.)

You funny!

[The Grand Nudger]

http://www.amazon.com/ThinkGeek-Canned-U...s_indust_1

---

"Don't order this product if you have a conscience. The unicorns in the industrial unicorn farms live in appalling conditions, in many cases worse than those of the pegasus ranches. Don't believe the propaganda of Lisa Frank and the other tycoons of big unicorn; all that awaits these poor creatures is the abattoir and the rainbow factory. Be ethical and buy (kosher) dragon meat instead."

---

http://www.amazon.com/Zubaz-Pants/dp/B00...s_indust_7

---

"I was searching for clothes that speak to me.. These pants not only spoke to me, they entered my soul and transformed me. When I get out of my bitchin 78 camaro wearing these bad boys, there's no question who the boss man is..
You can easily go commando in these and feel even more manly. Your junk swings freely and using the restroom is that much easier..
Accessories to consider:
Flannel shirt with the sleeves cut off. The "don't mess with me" look.
flip flops - The casual "I'm too lazy to get fully dressed" look.
baseball helmet with two beer can holders on the sides.
Ball cap worn backwards or to the side. You know I'm coooool.
These pants will get the ladies. There are many many places these can be worn to attract the female species:
Tractor pull
Walmart
NASCAR events
Your local neighborhood crack houses.
The drug rehab rec room
Any place in the state of IOWA.

I recommend buying multiple pairs. Keep an extra pair in the trunk of your car.. You never know where you will wake up in the morning but you will always have a clean pair of these bad boys with you.."

---

[Whateverist]

On the positive side i can report the following unexpected benefits:
- My pain threshold has almost trebled
- I can now pass urine in 3 positions: standing, sitting and curled in a ball weeping.
- using a shammy leather and some wax I was able to polish up my ballbag enough to act as a signal for passing ships, saving me from certain starvation one time when i was stuck on a desert island.

Probably the first thing you will notice after using this product is the pain. Although as a man I lack the required experience, I'm going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth.

In truth I was quite looking forward to it, rubbing creamy gel into my private parts didn't sound unpleasant. People pay for that kind of service. So I put a dollop onto my hands, rubbed them together to warm it up and applied it to my hirsute undercarriage. I confess here, for the benefit of others, that I did apply some to parts that weren't actually hairy.

In my minds eye was a pleasant few minutes rubbing, followed by a gentle rinse in warm water from the measuring jug, with my tackle hanging over the rim of the sink as it had so many times before when being shaved. Afterwards, there would be Dave and the Twins, hairless but with none of that sharp stubble that my wife complains about.

Reality was altogether different. The first thing I noticed was that Davey's head was getting warm, then it started to swell. I made a mental note to avoid putting any here in future. There is no chance of me forgetting my mental note as within 2 minutes the warming sensation had turned to a burning pain that had me scraping as much gel off as possible with the nearest hand towel. Now it was time for the Twins to register their discomfort, by hiding as far inside my body as is possible and turning my ball-sack into a concrete bunker.

Davey and the twins? Now I feel I really must name my equipment. But how to top that? Any ideas? What are some good names for ones privates?

[JosephBowie]

I can't say I quite expected to see this kind of thing when I logged on today. Thanks for that. Really.