History of christian morals in the family

[Jackalope]

They!?!

Well, you know, it does take (at least) two to achieve that condition.

[festive1]

My mom was a strict Catholic. She met my dad, they got pregnant,

Uh, no, I dated a strict Catholic once, and that doesn't happen. Your mom was a pretty laid back Catholic (pun intended).

Catholics, even strict ones, have been getting pregnant out of wedlock for centuries. My mom's oldest sister had her first baby when she was 16 and unwed. Remember, Catholics can do almost anything, so long as they confess their sins and atone for them. The story I was always told about my mom discovering she was pregnant with me: She went to the doctor. She thought she had the flu. He did a pregnancy test and came in saying, "Congratulations!" Mom started crying. The doctor replied, "There are ways we can handle unwanted pregnancies." But here I am! Catholic morals at work, it's about the sanctity of life, not the quality.
I don't know or understand a lot about my mom's family. What I can surmise is that her mother was very domineering and thought she married beneath her station in life. This coupled with other tidbits I've picked up on, leads me to the conclusion that my mom was trying to get the hell out of Dodge. My dad was a convenient escape. Though I don't understand how 16 years of marriage (as it was between my parents) was preferable to just leaving or going back to her parents. And yes, my mother treating me like her therapist from the age of 6 or so has caused me significant pain and confusion.

[Aractus]

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My mother and aunt were raised reformed, but not really strict. My father and uncle though, were taught that every word in the bible was true; Calvinistic. My father never believed a bit of the bible, but my uncle did so very much. He was an artist and God was his central theme. My grandfather even did not go to church because he only believed the word of the bible. He was a good lad though, raised in different times.

During the late 1970’s it turned out my uncle and aunt could not have children, which was heartbreaking especially to my aunt. The problem was that my uncle couldn’t have a sex at all because of some erectile dysfunction. My aunt went nuts on it and besides lots of therapy to cope; she also had sessions under hypnosis.

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In the 70's we knew a lot less about hypnosis than we do now. Worse still, untrained psychologists routinely used the treatment with little to no knowledge about how to correctly use it. To some extent this still happens today! It does reflect upon psychiatry since we don't see hypnotherapy as that it should only be administered by someone specially trained. Worse still the psychologist could be conducting their own experiments with little to no regard for the actual health and wellbeing of their patient. David Reimer had this unfortunate fate when he was an innocent infant and the psychologist decided to impose his pet theory upon the boy's life. Both that example and your example show callas disregard or at the very least extreme negligence by those practising in the field of psychiatry (even if they aren't properly qualified to do so) and the harm that it can bring about.

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Through this hypnosis she ‘found out’ she was sexually abused by her father. My mother couldn’t stand this accusation, because she didn’t believe it and also because he died when my mother was just eleven and he couldn’t defend himself. As you can imagine, the relation between my parents and my uncle and aunt became very much troubled. They hardly spoke for years.

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And this is exactly the problem with hypnosis (and specifically hypnotherapy). The fact is that any psychologist can use hypnotherapy, and they don't need any training at all in hypnosis! You get some trumped-up psychologist with no idea what he's doing, and how to use hypnosis correctly, and all of a sudden he believes he's discovered that his patients have all been abused by their parents. Incredible the harm that can be caused by impoper care given by those who should know much better. Another example might be Chopper - his mum was a devout SDA. He claims his father beat him as a child and that he was routinely given EST as a child. It is little wonder that someone with mild autism who is severely dyslexic would turn to a life of crime after an upbringing like his. These days we know much more about autism and EST, doesn't change the fact that he was (allegedly) given improper care as a child. Of course he could have made the whole story up for all we know, Chop is known to do that. Does that reflect upon his mum's religion? I don't think so, I think it just exemplifies the stigmas present in secular society.

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In 1987 my parents found out my uncle suffered from cancer. My father immediately started visiting my uncle in hospital and my mother supported my aunt during this process despite the accusations.

Every time my father visited his brother in hospital, he had to wear gloves and a mask (don’t know the exact word) on his mouth to prevent bacterial infection. My father found this very odd and after weeks of visiting he suddenly saw the light; his brother doesn’t have cancer, he has aids and the glove was not to protect his brother, but my father (at the time, not a lot was known on HIV). My father asked my uncle on the next visit and he, already very ill, indeed admitted he had aids. My father told his brother that he would tell their parents later at night, because they still had hope for my uncle to recover. My uncle agreed.

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A lot was unknown about AIDS at the time. It's good to hear that he agreed to tell his parents, it would have been heartbreaking for them to know it, but it's much better then having them believe a lie.

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In the following weeks, my uncle’s condition got worse and therefore my uncle asked my father and the doctor to set up euthanasia. My father told my grandfather and he supported his son’s wish to end his suffering (although it was against his beliefs!). His wife was not involved, because my uncle knew she would never approve it. Autumn 1988, the family was gathered around the bed and my aunt asked the doctor what the purpose of the injection was? The doctor lied, following my uncle’s wish to die.

Of course my parents were very aware that my uncle had been secretly gay, but did not inform the rest of the family to spare my uncle’s legacy. My aunt later learned the truth somehow and drank poison in a suicide attempt. She survived, but a few years later she died of throat cancer as a result of this attempt.

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I'm sorry but that's a fucking pathetic cop-out. Someone I knew not long ago had a live-in girlfriend and a 2nd girlfriend on the side - I did what any sensible level-headed responsible self-respecting adult would do - I told the 2nd girlfriend the truth. I would have told the other one too, but I never saw her that particular year at all. He was fucking furious at me, I was just like "whatever, not my problem, you made the situation deal with it". How the f. people live with themselves knowing that a person is cheating on their partner and not telling that person's partner is beyond me. It's pathetic. It certainly doesn't reflect upon Christian morality, it reflects upon the secular view to "mind your own business".

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After her death in 1997…the family found letters on different hidden places in their house. Some of the letters were written by my uncle’s secret lovers and others were of my aunt. In the letters my aunt admitted she was never sexually abused by her grandfather.

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It's a sad story, with a sad ending. Your grandparents could have spared their daughter-in-law a lot of pain and suffering by telling her the truth when they knew it. Why they felt his wife didn't have a right to know is totally beyond me.