Daily quotes

[Minimalist]

"Why should I allow that same God to tell me how to raise my kids, who had to drown His own?"


Robert. Green Ingersoll

[Angrboda]

"Merde!"

— Reputed response of Pierre Cambronne upon being called to surrender after the battle of Waterloo, often quoted as having said, "La garde meurt et ne se rend pas !" ("The Guard dies and does not surrender!")
Cambonne denided the later accounts as well. Cambonne himself was captured and taken prisoner by the British, which, according to British Colonel Hugh Halkett's account, occurred before the reputed incident.


"A man a cubit below the water is drowning as much as a man five hundred fathoms down."

— Chrysippus, referring to the impossibility of being truly virtuous and wise


"In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point."

— Friedrich Nietzsche


"Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me."

— Rage Against The Machine, Killing In The Name

[Something completely different]

"Erotik ist die Überwindung von Hindernissen. Das verlockendste und populärste Hindernis ist die Moral."
-
"Eroticism is to overcome all barriers. The most alluring and popular barrier is moral."

Karl Kraus, Austrian playwrite, novelist and satireist.

"The only thing that can save the world is the reclaiming of the awareness of the world. That's what poetry does."

Allan Ginsberg, American poet.

"Den Charakter eines Menschen erkennt man an den Scherzen, die er übel nimmt."
-
"The character of a person can be defined by the jokes he finds offencive ."

Christian Morgenstern, German poet


"Toleranz ist der Verdacht, dass der andere Recht hat."
-
"Tolerants is the suspicion, that someone else might be right."

Kurt Tucholsky, German playwrite and novelist (I read his works and dont like them)


"Die Praxis sollte das Ergebnis des Nachdenkens sein, nicht umgekehrt."
-
"The practice should be the result of thinking, not the other way arround."

Hermann Hesse, German novelist

[Tea Earl Grey Hot]

...

"Den Charakter eines Menschen erkennt man an den Scherzen, die er übel nimmt."
-
"The character of a person can be defined by the jokes he finds offencive ."

You don't seem to find our Nazi jokes offensive. Wonder what that means. hock:

[Dee Dee Ramone]

I am looking for offensive jokes. Can anybody help me out?

[Something completely different]

a young man in Bavaria askes a man if he can marry her daughter.

he says yes.

soon after that yes and after they spent some time together he returnes home.

he tells his own father that he doesn`t want to marry her anymore

the father asks why.

the young man explains to his father that he found out that she was no virgin anymore.

the father replies: "Good decision son! If she isn`t good enought for her family, then she isn`t good enought for ours!"

[Tea Earl Grey Hot]

I am looking for offensive jokes. Can anybody help me out?

http://www.reddit.com/r/ImGoingToHellForThis/

[Creed of Heresy]

Here is a quote that I as a humanist take after quite closely and it's something to always consider. This is from "2000 years of Disbelief: Famous People With the Courage to Doubt," written by none other than Isaac Asimov himself.

"I certainly don't believe in the mythologies of our society, in heaven and hell, in God and angels, in Satan and demons. I've thought of myself as an ´atheist,´ but that simply described what I didn't believe in, not what I did. Gradually, though, I became aware there was a movement called ´humanism,´ which used that name because, to put it most simply, humanists believe that human beings produced the progressive advance of human society and also the ills that plague it. They believe that if the ills are to be alleviated, it is humanity that will have to do the job. They disbelieve in the influence of the supernatural on either the good or the bad of society."

From his book Nightfall:

"So the universe is not quite as you thought it was. You'd better rearrange your beliefs, then. Because you certainly can't rearrange the universe."

And some random quotes attributed to him:

"Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived."

"I don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse."

And perhaps one of the most meaningful things he ever said, from his book "Free Inquiry":

"Although the time of death is approaching me, I am not afraid of dying and going to Hell or (what would be considerably worse) going to the popularized version of Heaven. I expect death to be nothingness and, for removing me from all possible fears of death, I am thankful to atheism."

[Cyberman]

Curses, Min, you beat me to the General Sedgwick one! Great minds and all that!

Never mind, though. I've still got a few from my favourite quotable nonbeliever, Colonel Robert Ingersoll (incidentally, Min, that was a real beauty you quoted; I'd not seen that one before):

"We are satisfied that there can be but little liberty on Earth while men worship a tyrant in Heaven."

"Theological thunder has lost its lightning - it is nothing now but noise, pleasing those who make it and amusing those who hear."

"The man who believes in eternal torment, in the justice of endless pain, is suffering from at least two diseases - petrifaction of the heart and putrefaction of the brain."

"If there be an infinite Being, he does not need our help -- we need not waste our energies in his defense."

"The mechanic, when a wheel refuses to turn, never thinks of dropping on his knees and asking the assistance of some divine power. He knows there is a reason. He knows that something is too large or too small; that there is something wrong with his machine; and he goes to work and he makes it larger or smaller, here or there, until the wheel will turn."

"In all ages hypocrites, called priests, have put crowns on the heads of thieves, called kings."

"Ministers say that they teach charity. This is natural. They live on alms. All beggars teach that others should give."

Then there's Sir Terry Pratchett, a man who knows that gods do not play dice with the Universe - they prefer Snakes and Ladders with real snakes and greased rungs:

"Give a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day; set fire to him, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

and the aforementioned Isaac Asimov:

"The most practical and dramatic victory of science over religion occurred in the 17th Century, when churches began to put up lightning conductors."

A couple of anonymous ones (no, not the hacktivists):

"For god so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever would believe in him would believe in anything."

"Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich"

Finally. one from me - call it a freebie:

"I seriously wish there was a god, because I would take extreme pleasure in kicking its arse straight to hell."

[Something completely different]

My very first girlfriend. When I was about 15, the kind of usual first releationship one has. In which one basicaly just holds hands, cuddles and exchanges nice words and kisses, a kind of prelude to the complexity of later releationships.

I remember very well that she always had a big amount of dirt beneath her fingernails. It never really disturbed me that much, but it always struck me as weird.

Then one day, I simply asked her: "Why do you have so much dirt beneath your fingernails?"

- She replied:

"Because I dig!"

Simple meaning, with nothing philosophical to it and absolutly banal, jet these words have never seized to vanish from my memory for some weird reason