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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Santa or Jesus

Poll: Which fictional character is more worthy of admiration?
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Jesus
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Santa
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Total 14 vote(s) 100%
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Santa or Jesus
Cinjin Offline Donators
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#1
Tongue 
Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:30 pm
No this is not the thread about the South Park episode. However, it might as well be ...
This is about feeding yourself a good one-liner for everyone to enjoy.

Obviously, two fictional characters. Lets pretend for one moment that they are real and both live up to their legends of awesomeness (KungFu Panda reference).
It's sort of a Pros and Cons One-Liner thread with no real rules. Just find a way to deliver a humorous, goofy or even thought-provoking One-Liner.


For instance:

I think I prefer Santa over Jesus. Jesus may offer you eternal life, but at least Santa doesn't threaten you with it.

or flip flop...

I prefer the powers of Jesus. Santa never turned anything into wine, and milk and cookies just made him a fat ass!





Come on, this site is full of smart asses. I can crank out dozens more of these. Lets see what you got. Min, I expect quality insults from you!
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Cyberman Away
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#2
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:35 pm
Why limit yourself to one or the other, when you could have:



At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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Confused Ape Offline
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#3
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:37 pm
I prefer the powers of Santa. When we were kids we didn't have to die in order to be rewarded for being good
Badger Badger Badger Badger Where are the snake and mushroom smilies?
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Cinjin Offline Donators
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#4
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:40 pm (This post was last modified: February 2, 2013 at 5:42 pm by Cinjin.)
Santa only had one old lady and a bunch of elves to spend his entire year with. Than again, Jesus hung out mostly with twelve dudes. Undecided

That's a toughy ... still deciding which deity to serve ....
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Jackalope Away
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#5
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:40 pm
Santa. Jesus never brought me underwear for Christmas.

I love you, Santa, you jolly fat bastard.
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Ryantology Offline
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#6
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:44 pm (This post was last modified: February 2, 2013 at 5:45 pm by Ryantology.)
Santa rewards you for being good. Jesus rewards you for being sycophantic. Santa gives you coal if you're bad. Jesus directed parents to murder their kids if they were bad.

There's no contest.
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Cyberman Away
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#7
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:44 pm
Not to mention his name is an anagram of Satan, just to piss off the fundies.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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Nine Offline
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#8
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:46 pm
Santa is good for the sake of being good never asking for thanks, admiration or anything in return. I prefer Santa.
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Cyberman Away
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#9
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:52 pm
Working on Christmas Day as well - a Bank Holiday, no buses or anything - without a word of complaint. What a guy.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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pocaracas Offline
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#10
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 6:09 pm (This post was last modified: February 2, 2013 at 6:09 pm by pocaracas.)
Sorry, I couldn't find subtitles for this... (learn portuguese!)
J:C. and S.C. go on trial to decide who gets credit for Christmas.




Conclusion:
Santa doesn't exist.... and gets in trouble with a contract with a known Cola brand...
On the other hand, J.C. is (was) 1997 years old, so he's old enough to get his ass off the straw bed and get a sleigh driver's license in order to be useful to society.
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Santa or Jesus

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