Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: November 7, 2024, 3:04 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Santa or Jesus

Poll: Which fictional character is more worthy of admiration?
This poll is closed.
Jesus
0%
 0 0%
Santa
100.00%
 14 100.00%
Total 14 vote(s) 100%
* You voted for this item. [Show Results]

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
Santa or Jesus
Cinjin Offline Donators
Member of the Decade
*****
Religious Views: Enlightened
Posts: 7031
Threads: 250
Joined: March 4, 2011
Reputation: 78
#1
Tongue 
Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:30 pm
No this is not the thread about the South Park episode. However, it might as well be ...
This is about feeding yourself a good one-liner for everyone to enjoy.

Obviously, two fictional characters. Lets pretend for one moment that they are real and both live up to their legends of awesomeness (KungFu Panda reference).
It's sort of a Pros and Cons One-Liner thread with no real rules. Just find a way to deliver a humorous, goofy or even thought-provoking One-Liner.


For instance:

I think I prefer Santa over Jesus. Jesus may offer you eternal life, but at least Santa doesn't threaten you with it.

or flip flop...

I prefer the powers of Jesus. Santa never turned anything into wine, and milk and cookies just made him a fat ass!





Come on, this site is full of smart asses. I can crank out dozens more of these. Lets see what you got. Min, I expect quality insults from you!
[Image: Evolution.png]

Find
Reply
Cyberman Away
Beta cuck male
*****
Religious Views: Frisbeetarian
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation: 156
#2
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:35 pm
Why limit yourself to one or the other, when you could have:



At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Find
Reply
Confused Ape Offline
Member
***
Religious Views: Using New Age Perception
Posts: 1189
Threads: 15
Joined: January 19, 2013
Reputation: 22
#3
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:37 pm
I prefer the powers of Santa. When we were kids we didn't have to die in order to be rewarded for being good
Badger Badger Badger Badger Where are the snake and mushroom smilies?
Find
Reply
Cinjin Offline Donators
Member of the Decade
*****
Religious Views: Enlightened
Posts: 7031
Threads: 250
Joined: March 4, 2011
Reputation: 78
#4
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:40 pm (This post was last modified: February 2, 2013 at 5:42 pm by Cinjin.)
Santa only had one old lady and a bunch of elves to spend his entire year with. Than again, Jesus hung out mostly with twelve dudes. Undecided

That's a toughy ... still deciding which deity to serve ....
[Image: Evolution.png]

Find
Reply
Jackalope Offline
Elon Musk owes me money
*******
Religious Views: Absent
Posts: 30973
Threads: 204
Joined: July 19, 2011
Reputation: 141
#5
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:40 pm
Santa. Jesus never brought me underwear for Christmas.

I love you, Santa, you jolly fat bastard.
Find
Reply
Ryantology Offline
shitlord
*****
Religious Views: I believe in the great abstract.
Posts: 5598
Threads: 112
Joined: July 16, 2012
Reputation: 74
#6
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:44 pm (This post was last modified: February 2, 2013 at 5:45 pm by Ryantology.)
Santa rewards you for being good. Jesus rewards you for being sycophantic. Santa gives you coal if you're bad. Jesus directed parents to murder their kids if they were bad.

There's no contest.
Find
Reply
Cyberman Away
Beta cuck male
*****
Religious Views: Frisbeetarian
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation: 156
#7
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:44 pm
Not to mention his name is an anagram of Satan, just to piss off the fundies.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Find
Reply
Nine Offline
Bee-ad
****
Religious Views: Queen Bee
Posts: 4344
Threads: 43
Joined: February 21, 2012
Reputation: 64
#8
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:46 pm
Santa is good for the sake of being good never asking for thanks, admiration or anything in return. I prefer Santa.
Find
Reply
Cyberman Away
Beta cuck male
*****
Religious Views: Frisbeetarian
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation: 156
#9
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 5:52 pm
Working on Christmas Day as well - a Bank Holiday, no buses or anything - without a word of complaint. What a guy.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Find
Reply
pocaracas Offline
Posting Freak
*****
Religious Views: Non-believer
Posts: 19640
Threads: 177
Joined: July 31, 2012
Reputation: 92
#10
RE: Santa or Jesus
February 2, 2013 at 6:09 pm (This post was last modified: February 2, 2013 at 6:09 pm by pocaracas.)
Sorry, I couldn't find subtitles for this... (learn portuguese!)
J:C. and S.C. go on trial to decide who gets credit for Christmas.




Conclusion:
Santa doesn't exist.... and gets in trouble with a contract with a known Cola brand...
On the other hand, J.C. is (was) 1997 years old, so he's old enough to get his ass off the straw bed and get a sleigh driver's license in order to be useful to society.
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Santa or Jesus

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Is the US government hiding Santa? Fake Messiah 11 1931 August 30, 2023 at 8:14 pm
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  The Case Against Santa Denialism Aegon 6 686 December 19, 2020 at 5:41 pm
Last Post: A. Secular Human
  Questions for Santa. brewer 16 2336 December 25, 2017 at 11:44 pm
Last Post: Fireball



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)