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Former Pentecostal Christian
#1
Former Pentecostal Christian
I am a former Pentecostal Christian. I went to church Sunday mornings and nights, Wednesdays, Fridays for youth group, and Saturdays if anything else was going on. We prayed before dinner. We prayed before sleep. We prayed an hour daily at times to get closer to our god. I read the Bible all the time (through Christian eyes, though). I preached in my church. I was a youth leader. I even went to a bible institute to become a pastor one day. Everything I was, everything I said, everything about me was faith.

Then I felt disappointed at the bible institute for so many unfair things that happened. I stopped going to church for two years, when I finally couldn't take it anymore and decided to do something about it, since I wanted to go back again. I thought that the best way to get my spiritual strength back was to read the Bible. I decided to make time for it every day, and I did. This time something was different. I had been away from church so long, that all of my reading was done through my eyes and nobody else this time. I was reading with reason, not with faith.

I noticed so many mean things coming from a god who was supposed to be full of love and compassion. I noticed injustice, not justice. I noticed murders in the name of God. I noticed contradictions. I also noticed how stupid I began to feel to believe that it was actually the word of God, when I myself wouldn't do certain things that he asked of me in that book. For example, to kill a loved one if he tried to make you worship idols. I wouldn't kill a loved one. So... did I not REALLY believe that it was the word of God?

I came out one day to my brother as an atheist (worried sick about his reaction). It turned out he had been an atheist for the past year. My sister talks to me as though I was sick and going to die any time soon. I see pity and a sort of mistrust in her eyes. As though my supposed sickness could stick. I am glad I am out. I feel free. I can now raise my two kids in peace. I didn't get an awesome free early years, but I still have the rest of my life ahead of me and I have my two kids to raise in a way I wish I would have been. They will get to go to prom. They will get to listen to "secular" music. It sounds funny, but hey, I didn't get that!

I am proud to step away from religion. You know what? It was soooo hard. I felt nostalgic. I felt scared. I felt alone at first and often almost prayed about it because I wanted to talk to somebody about my feelings, but I was so trained to pray that it was almost natural. Then I would catch myself and be like, "oh, duh." And I just laugh at myself. At first my mom and dad felt terrible. They looked as though a child of their own died. Now they are following my tracks. They're smart. They'll get there.

I am a 28 year old person who wished I found out sooner that most of what she knew was false, but I am desperately happy I found out now, while I still have time to live some more in reality. I've been atheist for two years. Thank me. (if you've ever been christian you get it. They usually end saying thank the lord or something. So, thank me. ugh, I killed it! lol) Smile
Pointing around: "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out!"
Half Baked

"Let the atheists come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heathens belongs to people like these." -Saint Bacon
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#2
RE: Former Pentecostal Christian
Thank you for sharing your story! A very warm welcome to AF! ^_^
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura

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#3
RE: Former Pentecostal Christian
You have some reasons for rejecting the snake handling form of Christianity though I don't see your reasoning for accepting atheism. Atheists will tend to say it isn't a belief but I think it is, call it scientific naturalism. It's a belief that started life as a full fledged religious movement in the ancient world, which I think is a point worth bearing in mind.

http://www.religionfacts.com/a-z-religio...eanism.htm
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#4
RE: Former Pentecostal Christian
Great story, jrsm. It can't have been easy in that sort of environment to walk away from it.

Anyway, congratulations on getting your life back and feel free to relax. You are among friends here....except for the handful of assorted theists and they can safely be dismissed.
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#5
RE: Former Pentecostal Christian
(February 16, 2013 at 10:11 am)Minimalist Wrote: except for the handful of assorted theists and they can safely be dismissed.

Hey, not all of them are bad Tongue
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura

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#6
RE: Former Pentecostal Christian
Welcome jrsm Smile
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#7
RE: Former Pentecostal Christian
Welcome! I was raised in much the same way (as a hardcore evangelical), and I went through a long, often painful deconversion process a few years ago.
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#8
RE: Former Pentecostal Christian
Howdy!
Cunt
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#9
RE: Former Pentecostal Christian
Welcome thanks for sharing, enjoy the forums Smile
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#10
RE: Former Pentecostal Christian
Welcome aboard.

Of all large christain sects, I reserve the greatest disdain for Pentecostalism and its oozing exploitation of human beings lowest and most disreputable herding and wishthinking instincts. So I am always glad to see human beings breaking free of that of their own accord.
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