Former Pentecostal Christian
February 16, 2013 at 6:31 am
(This post was last modified: February 16, 2013 at 6:59 am by Fruity.)
I am a former Pentecostal Christian. I went to church Sunday mornings and nights, Wednesdays, Fridays for youth group, and Saturdays if anything else was going on. We prayed before dinner. We prayed before sleep. We prayed an hour daily at times to get closer to our god. I read the Bible all the time (through Christian eyes, though). I preached in my church. I was a youth leader. I even went to a bible institute to become a pastor one day. Everything I was, everything I said, everything about me was faith.
Then I felt disappointed at the bible institute for so many unfair things that happened. I stopped going to church for two years, when I finally couldn't take it anymore and decided to do something about it, since I wanted to go back again. I thought that the best way to get my spiritual strength back was to read the Bible. I decided to make time for it every day, and I did. This time something was different. I had been away from church so long, that all of my reading was done through my eyes and nobody else this time. I was reading with reason, not with faith.
I noticed so many mean things coming from a god who was supposed to be full of love and compassion. I noticed injustice, not justice. I noticed murders in the name of God. I noticed contradictions. I also noticed how stupid I began to feel to believe that it was actually the word of God, when I myself wouldn't do certain things that he asked of me in that book. For example, to kill a loved one if he tried to make you worship idols. I wouldn't kill a loved one. So... did I not REALLY believe that it was the word of God?
I came out one day to my brother as an atheist (worried sick about his reaction). It turned out he had been an atheist for the past year. My sister talks to me as though I was sick and going to die any time soon. I see pity and a sort of mistrust in her eyes. As though my supposed sickness could stick. I am glad I am out. I feel free. I can now raise my two kids in peace. I didn't get an awesome free early years, but I still have the rest of my life ahead of me and I have my two kids to raise in a way I wish I would have been. They will get to go to prom. They will get to listen to "secular" music. It sounds funny, but hey, I didn't get that!
I am proud to step away from religion. You know what? It was soooo hard. I felt nostalgic. I felt scared. I felt alone at first and often almost prayed about it because I wanted to talk to somebody about my feelings, but I was so trained to pray that it was almost natural. Then I would catch myself and be like, "oh, duh." And I just laugh at myself. At first my mom and dad felt terrible. They looked as though a child of their own died. Now they are following my tracks. They're smart. They'll get there.
I am a 28 year old person who wished I found out sooner that most of what she knew was false, but I am desperately happy I found out now, while I still have time to live some more in reality. I've been atheist for two years. Thank me. (if you've ever been christian you get it. They usually end saying thank the lord or something. So, thank me. ugh, I killed it! lol)
Then I felt disappointed at the bible institute for so many unfair things that happened. I stopped going to church for two years, when I finally couldn't take it anymore and decided to do something about it, since I wanted to go back again. I thought that the best way to get my spiritual strength back was to read the Bible. I decided to make time for it every day, and I did. This time something was different. I had been away from church so long, that all of my reading was done through my eyes and nobody else this time. I was reading with reason, not with faith.
I noticed so many mean things coming from a god who was supposed to be full of love and compassion. I noticed injustice, not justice. I noticed murders in the name of God. I noticed contradictions. I also noticed how stupid I began to feel to believe that it was actually the word of God, when I myself wouldn't do certain things that he asked of me in that book. For example, to kill a loved one if he tried to make you worship idols. I wouldn't kill a loved one. So... did I not REALLY believe that it was the word of God?
I came out one day to my brother as an atheist (worried sick about his reaction). It turned out he had been an atheist for the past year. My sister talks to me as though I was sick and going to die any time soon. I see pity and a sort of mistrust in her eyes. As though my supposed sickness could stick. I am glad I am out. I feel free. I can now raise my two kids in peace. I didn't get an awesome free early years, but I still have the rest of my life ahead of me and I have my two kids to raise in a way I wish I would have been. They will get to go to prom. They will get to listen to "secular" music. It sounds funny, but hey, I didn't get that!
I am proud to step away from religion. You know what? It was soooo hard. I felt nostalgic. I felt scared. I felt alone at first and often almost prayed about it because I wanted to talk to somebody about my feelings, but I was so trained to pray that it was almost natural. Then I would catch myself and be like, "oh, duh." And I just laugh at myself. At first my mom and dad felt terrible. They looked as though a child of their own died. Now they are following my tracks. They're smart. They'll get there.
I am a 28 year old person who wished I found out sooner that most of what she knew was false, but I am desperately happy I found out now, while I still have time to live some more in reality. I've been atheist for two years. Thank me. (if you've ever been christian you get it. They usually end saying thank the lord or something. So, thank me. ugh, I killed it! lol)
Pointing around: "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out!"
Half Baked
"Let the atheists come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heathens belongs to people like these." -Saint Bacon
Half Baked
"Let the atheists come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heathens belongs to people like these." -Saint Bacon
thanks for sharing, enjoy the forums 
