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The unworthy.
April 27, 2013 at 11:01 am
I have struggled with drug addiction for long, I got free of it 12 years ago (heroin) and struggled hard to be free of the slavery I thrown myself into. For months, I seeked for support, for help from my fellow humans, yet, tthey all focus on blaming the stupidity of my actions, that I should've known better. I tried real hard, but nothing could really ease the pain.
Today I faced my old addiction, there was this guy that offered me a score of heroin and I refused, I rather felt proud of myself, only to be twarted by other humans distrust AT MY HOME.
So, forgive me for feeling low, because its as simple as that: We are deseased with prejudice and corruption, the human race best available option is to be erradicated from this planet as the plague it is.
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RE: The unworthy.
April 27, 2013 at 11:07 am
Congratulations for turning it down. It's tough, I know.
What do you mean by "thwarted by others humans distrust at my home?"
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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RE: The unworthy.
April 27, 2013 at 11:15 am
My wife, given my history, she automatically distrusted me, even after I've been clean way before we even met... I guess hell is real to some of us. I wonder is what I'm getting is what I deserve. Here I was, so naive to think that if I stopped my drug addiction, my pain would go away...
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RE: The unworthy.
April 27, 2013 at 11:19 am
Since my only addiction is the internet, I can't offer much, but the crap advice of "hang in there"... 
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RE: The unworthy.
April 27, 2013 at 11:20 am
I can't even imagine what being an addict would be like.
<takes a sip of lager>
Must be hell.
You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.
Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.
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RE: The unworthy.
April 27, 2013 at 11:24 am
(This post was last modified: April 27, 2013 at 11:25 am by Faith No More.)
LastPoet Wrote:My wife, given my history, she automatically distrusted me, even after I've been clean way before we even met...
You can't convince her that you didn't do anything?
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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RE: The unworthy.
April 27, 2013 at 11:57 am
Perhaps it's a small consolation, we here who know you are very proud of you LP! 
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura
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RE: The unworthy.
April 27, 2013 at 3:28 pm
(This post was last modified: April 27, 2013 at 3:56 pm by LastPoet.)
I felt so proud to turning down the invitation to use, that I didn't reason it well... I should've lied and tell her nothing... It ended with her slapping me twice over the insued discussion, I struggled hard not to return in kind. In the end it was I that had to apologise for taking 2 slaps (well, they didn't really hurt me, its beyond the point) in order to save the marriage, because I still love her. I wonder if I shouldn't have finished it already 
(April 27, 2013 at 11:24 am)Faith No More Wrote: LastPoet Wrote:My wife, given my history, she automatically distrusted me, even after I've been clean way before we even met...
You can't convince her that you didn't do anything?
It would be easier to use and not mention it than to be sincere. I guess once a junkie, forever a junkie.
This is so cool, how much stomping can I take? No job, lowsy economy, ex junkie, ethical stupid, but I'm the piece de resistance, Bring it on bitches!
ETA: Oh FFS, How much I wanted to feel then sweet mistress embrace through my veins, how awesome it feel its embrace, but I turned it down, only to be accused of doing it so, for confessing that proposal
As if I didn't feel down enough, fuck! I AM SO ANGERED RIGHT NOW!
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RE: The unworthy.
April 27, 2013 at 4:00 pm
That's really sad, LP. I'm really sorry
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RE: The unworthy.
April 27, 2013 at 4:17 pm
Feeling sorry for ourselves on the internet, are we? Join the club.
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